#450 GLENN BECK
FOX NOT THE NEWS COMMENTATOR WHO PRETENDS TO BE A NEWSMAN
Holy Shit. Where do we start?
GOP Cocksucker #385 (BILL O'REILLY) used to be the Big Cheese on Fox Not the News, packing the illiterates in to watch his program, The O'Reilly Factor, but then Billo's credibility started dropping as the helium slowly began leaking from his blimp.
First came the Andrea Mackris Affair, in which he sexually harassed a producer of his show by telling her on the phone about a fantasy he had of masturbating her with a loofah (Or a falafel. Billo gets things mixed up.)
Then he enriched Sen. Al Franken of Minnesota by suing him for libel, even though Fox Not the News attorneys told him not to. The judge in the case threw out O'Reilly's suit in record time, observing that it was "wholly without merit," thus providing Fox Not the News with another slogan.
Third, he fucked up the Malmedy incident of World War II, claiming American G.I.' s shot down surrendering German SS officers during the Battle of the Bulge when actually the opposite occured. After this beaut, even O'Reillly's aging audience were wondering "What the fuck?" They may be gullible, but they aren't THAT gullible.
(The same thing happened with GOP Cocksucker #70 (THE FAT JUNKIE) although to be fair, he's been looked upon as a joke for a lot longer. He was skewered by activist Janeane Garofalo, who said that he was a narcissist filled with self-loathing. In a classic line, Garofalo said The Fat Junkie would go to his grave "unfixed." The Fox demographic still listened to Limbaugh, but it was like listening to my great-grandmother continuing to use her old wood stove after she'd gotten a new electric one because, quote, "Dat ting yust don't cook right." I.e., they didn't place much stock in him.)
Since #386 and #70 have fallen from favor, who is the new kid on the block? Why #450, the Mormon alcoholic drug user and ex-shock jock who cries on his program at the drop of a hat and has been losing sponsors willy-nilly since he called President Obama a racist (he recanted that a couple of weeks ago.)
Beck, who in case you think I'm mean, calls HIMSELF "a rodeo clown" on his Facebook page and has in an interview, tries portraying himself as an unedcated man and a professional journalist at the same time. It's a variation of a schtick #70 still uses in which he portrays himself as a journalist until he gets caught, then claims he's anentertainer until the heat dies down and he can claim to be a journalist again.
What Beck IS is a huckster, who has gotten wealthy off merchandising books, his bogus university and Fusion magazine among other things to the Guillible that is his audience. Beck is also a ruthless self-promoter. His last appearance, a rally in front of the Lincoln Memorial on the same day as Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech, featured Beck lauding himself for most of his speech, comparing himself to George Washington and Benjamin Franklin. Beck has now launched a website where most of the content talks about the wonderfulness ofGlenn Beck.
Most of Beck's conspiracy theories--and they ARE conspiracy theories--have their origins in Cleon Skoussen, a Mormon racist, a fired former chief of police, virulent anti-communist, far-right speaker and all-around kook who died in 2006.
Beck would snarl that he doesn't--or if he does, they are of no consequence--make mistakes or tell lies. But he does. ALL the time. What he counts on is that he can make a pile off the Gullible before it catches on. Here are just SOME of them:
1. During his "I Have A Scheme" speech, Beck claimed half a million people showed up. (Actually, 85,000 did.)
2. Claimed on Fox and Friends July 28, 2009, that President Obama is a racist. (At first, Beck tried to bully his way through the charge but as he kept losing sponsor after sponsor--200 as of March 2010--he tried getting Fox Not the News owner Rupert Murdoch, to bankroll his show, which he did for a little while, but the pressure did not abate. Finally, after his "I Have A Scheme" rally, Beck apologized on Fox Not the News Sunday to Chris Wallace.)
3. Claimed to his followers at the "I Have a Scheme" rally that he held the original inaugural statement in his hand that was penned by George Washington. (True to form, Beck admitted that this was a lie but it really didn't matter.)
4. Claimed Green Jobs presidential adviser Van Jones had been convicted of a felony. (True to form, Beck admitted that this was a lie but it really didn't matter. This is a guy who's supposed to stand for honor and integrity?)
5. Claimed that Robert Creamer a liberal activist was a "unrepentant convicted felon." (Ummm. No. Creamer was very repentant, confessing to bank fraud and paying all the money back that he owed the IRS, plus penalties. Beck also said the security breach at a state dinner November 24, 2009 was to distract attention from Creamer. )
6. Swore that 45% of doctors said they would quit if health care reform passed. (It's passed. They aren't quitting.)
7. Claimed that John Holdren, the director of the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy, promoted abortions and putting substances in drinking water that would leave people sterile. (This is blatantly false. He never said any such thing.)
8. We are the only country in the world that has citizenship on birth, (No we aren't. Guatamala, Canada, Romania, Brazil, Mexico, Pakistan, to mention a few, all have it.)
9. Beck claimed that the wife of Imam Rauf, the muslim heading up the construction of the Park 51 project claims that all Americans hate muslims. (She didn't, she said it was the protestors who seemed to hate muslims.)
10. President Obama wants to force doctors to perform abortions. (Title 42, § 300a-7 of the U.S. Code safeguards doctors from not performing abortions if their religious or moral beliefs say otherwise.)
With thanks to MediaMatters. com, PolitiFact.com and thedemocratichub.com.
S. Olson
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
Not A Friend in the World
GOP Cocksucker #433 (DAN MAES) is even having his Teabagger buddies abandonining him.
After slapping the shit out of GOP Cocksucker #500 (SCOTT McINNIS) to win the GOP Cocksucker gubernatorial primary because McInnisd got himself embroiled in a plagarism scandal for which he was paid $300,000, Maes expected to get the endorsementa of the party faithful, which he did...at first.
Then all the weird shit became known to the voters and pretty soon Maes couldn't talk about any of his ideas for the state, assuming he had any. He could only talk about...well...Dan Maes.
As in, did he really think the program to encourage people to ride bicycles around Denver was a plot by the United Nations?
And the latest one, how come you told everyone you used to be an undercover cop when you never were?
Episodes like these have caused more and more GOP regulars like ex-Sen. Hank Brown to take back their endorsements. Now even his fellow teabaggers, seeing a statewide bloodbath looming in Colorado, have asked him to step down.
First was Leslie Hollywood, the director of the Northern Colorado Teabaggers. Then came Teabagger activist Janet Rowland, Evergreen/Conifer Tea Party co-coordinator Connie Bierkan, Western Slope Conservative Alliance president Jennifer Bailey, R Block Party co-founder Nikki Mata, Lu Busse, the chair of the 9.12 Project Colorado Coalition and now GOP Cocksucker #535 (KEN BUCK) the GOP Cocksucker senatorial candidate and Teabagger that beat GOP Cocksucker #410 (JANE NORTON) the establishment candidate that distinguished herself for running away from the press when they started asking question about her lobbyist background. All of them have left Maes high and dry.
Maes stubbornly tweets he is not going to quit. Even though the head of the Colorado Republican Party, GOP Cocksucker #423 (DICK WADHAMS) fervently wishes he would, telling the Denver Post, "He has nobody left."
Sixty days before the election, John Hickenlooper, Maes' opponent, leads him by 11 points and rising.
With thanks to the Denver Post, Westword and TPM Muckraker.
S. Olson
After slapping the shit out of GOP Cocksucker #500 (SCOTT McINNIS) to win the GOP Cocksucker gubernatorial primary because McInnisd got himself embroiled in a plagarism scandal for which he was paid $300,000, Maes expected to get the endorsementa of the party faithful, which he did...at first.
Then all the weird shit became known to the voters and pretty soon Maes couldn't talk about any of his ideas for the state, assuming he had any. He could only talk about...well...Dan Maes.
As in, did he really think the program to encourage people to ride bicycles around Denver was a plot by the United Nations?
And the latest one, how come you told everyone you used to be an undercover cop when you never were?
Episodes like these have caused more and more GOP regulars like ex-Sen. Hank Brown to take back their endorsements. Now even his fellow teabaggers, seeing a statewide bloodbath looming in Colorado, have asked him to step down.
First was Leslie Hollywood, the director of the Northern Colorado Teabaggers. Then came Teabagger activist Janet Rowland, Evergreen/Conifer Tea Party co-coordinator Connie Bierkan, Western Slope Conservative Alliance president Jennifer Bailey, R Block Party co-founder Nikki Mata, Lu Busse, the chair of the 9.12 Project Colorado Coalition and now GOP Cocksucker #535 (KEN BUCK) the GOP Cocksucker senatorial candidate and Teabagger that beat GOP Cocksucker #410 (JANE NORTON) the establishment candidate that distinguished herself for running away from the press when they started asking question about her lobbyist background. All of them have left Maes high and dry.
Maes stubbornly tweets he is not going to quit. Even though the head of the Colorado Republican Party, GOP Cocksucker #423 (DICK WADHAMS) fervently wishes he would, telling the Denver Post, "He has nobody left."
Sixty days before the election, John Hickenlooper, Maes' opponent, leads him by 11 points and rising.
With thanks to the Denver Post, Westword and TPM Muckraker.
S. Olson
Sheriff Joe's Latest B.S.
GOP Cocksucker #366 (SHERIFF JOE ARPAIO) is whining now that the Department of Justice has had it up to here with his bullshit and has sued his crooked ass.
Acting the injured innocent after the DOJ sued him for not cooperating with their investigation into civil rights violations, Arpaio whined that he just wanted to know why the DOJ wanted certain documents from his office.
To its credit, the DOJ told Arpaio that they just wanted the documents and they didn't have to tell him a fucking thing. Arpaio whined that he was being picked on and said the feds should be thanking him for patrolling the Mexican border. Never mind the fact that enforcing the border is the job of the feds, not the county.
With thanks to the Phoenix star and TPM Muckraker.
S. Olson
Acting the injured innocent after the DOJ sued him for not cooperating with their investigation into civil rights violations, Arpaio whined that he just wanted to know why the DOJ wanted certain documents from his office.
To its credit, the DOJ told Arpaio that they just wanted the documents and they didn't have to tell him a fucking thing. Arpaio whined that he was being picked on and said the feds should be thanking him for patrolling the Mexican border. Never mind the fact that enforcing the border is the job of the feds, not the county.
With thanks to the Phoenix star and TPM Muckraker.
S. Olson
Flamingly Southern - #448
#448 LARRY MERCHANT
FORMER S.C. POLITICAL BIG WHEEL WHO DESTROYED HIS CAREER IN POLITICS
Merchant not only backed the wrong horse in the run for governor of Georgia, namely GOP Cocksucker #363 (LT. GOV. AMDRE BAUER) against GOP Cocksucker #400 (NIKKI HALEY,) he also flushed his career down the drain.
In a desperate attempt to stop Haley in the primary, Merchant tried to capitalize on charges made by blogger Will Folkes, a former communications aide to GOP Cocksucker #308 and gift that keeps on giving (MARK SANFORD). Folkes said he had an 'inappropriate sexual relationship' with Haley. Merchant subsequently said he fucked Haley while they were at a convention in June a couple of years ago. This charge didn't get too much traction, as Jon Stewart of the Daily Show showed, to absolutely hilarious effect, around the 7:45 mark here: http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-june-7-2010/thank-you--south-carolina---the-race-to-replace-disgrace
With thanks to The Daily Show and TPM Muckraker
S. Olson
FORMER S.C. POLITICAL BIG WHEEL WHO DESTROYED HIS CAREER IN POLITICS
Merchant not only backed the wrong horse in the run for governor of Georgia, namely GOP Cocksucker #363 (LT. GOV. AMDRE BAUER) against GOP Cocksucker #400 (NIKKI HALEY,) he also flushed his career down the drain.
In a desperate attempt to stop Haley in the primary, Merchant tried to capitalize on charges made by blogger Will Folkes, a former communications aide to GOP Cocksucker #308 and gift that keeps on giving (MARK SANFORD). Folkes said he had an 'inappropriate sexual relationship' with Haley. Merchant subsequently said he fucked Haley while they were at a convention in June a couple of years ago. This charge didn't get too much traction, as Jon Stewart of the Daily Show showed, to absolutely hilarious effect, around the 7:45 mark here: http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-june-7-2010/thank-you--south-carolina---the-race-to-replace-disgrace
With thanks to The Daily Show and TPM Muckraker
S. Olson
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Cover Up Everything #447
#447 ANNE WOMACK-KOLTON
FORMER CAMPAIGN PRESS SECRETARY FOR GOP COCKSUCKER #200 (DICK CHENEY)
Not only was Womack-Kolton Darth Vader's press secretary before he and the Drunken Frat Boy moved into the Oval Office but she had lots of experience as the voice of the Department of Energy defending Cheney's secret meetings with oil lobbyists
Which may be why British Petroleum, the oil company that caused the worst enviromental damage in American history by being unable to cap it's badly leaking oil well for more than two months, hired Womack-Kolton to run their PR efforts. Her job? Cover up everything.
With thanks to TPM Muckraker
S. Olson
FORMER CAMPAIGN PRESS SECRETARY FOR GOP COCKSUCKER #200 (DICK CHENEY)
Not only was Womack-Kolton Darth Vader's press secretary before he and the Drunken Frat Boy moved into the Oval Office but she had lots of experience as the voice of the Department of Energy defending Cheney's secret meetings with oil lobbyists
Which may be why British Petroleum, the oil company that caused the worst enviromental damage in American history by being unable to cap it's badly leaking oil well for more than two months, hired Womack-Kolton to run their PR efforts. Her job? Cover up everything.
With thanks to TPM Muckraker
S. Olson
The Pinata With Hair
Don't let anyone tell you that Islamophobia isn't spreading from New York.
The flap over the Park 11 cultural center has spread to Murfreesboro, TN, where construction equipment used to lay the groundwork for a mosque there has been set ablaze and Tumecula, CA, where teabaggers tried intimidating Muslims with barking dogs.
It's also spread to West Haven, CT, but not in the form that 31-year-old Kevin Morris would have approved.
After walking into the Fire & Ice Hookah Lounge (I LOVE that name.) and screaming racial epithets at a number of black and middle eastern people, a drunken Morris...how can I put this delicately?.....ehh I can't...got the everlovin' shit kicked out of him. By the time police showed up, the outside of the Lounge looked like a hockey game with Morris playing the role of the puck. Bystanders told police that one of the patrons had rung Morris' bell several times before running off. (But you just know that they made that guy up and in reality EVERYONE had taken their best shot at Morris' drunken ass; like he was a pinata with hair.)
Morris was bleeding profusely from the face. Police had to take him to the Yale-New Haven Hospital to be treated for his injuries before arresting him for third degree intimidation and second degree breach of the peace. Morris' face, with one eye swollen shut as a result of his night out, can be seen here: http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/2010/09/as_weve_been_reporting_there.php
With thanks to Amanda Pinto of the New Haven Register and TPM Muckraker.
S. Olson
The flap over the Park 11 cultural center has spread to Murfreesboro, TN, where construction equipment used to lay the groundwork for a mosque there has been set ablaze and Tumecula, CA, where teabaggers tried intimidating Muslims with barking dogs.
It's also spread to West Haven, CT, but not in the form that 31-year-old Kevin Morris would have approved.
After walking into the Fire & Ice Hookah Lounge (I LOVE that name.) and screaming racial epithets at a number of black and middle eastern people, a drunken Morris...how can I put this delicately?.....ehh I can't...got the everlovin' shit kicked out of him. By the time police showed up, the outside of the Lounge looked like a hockey game with Morris playing the role of the puck. Bystanders told police that one of the patrons had rung Morris' bell several times before running off. (But you just know that they made that guy up and in reality EVERYONE had taken their best shot at Morris' drunken ass; like he was a pinata with hair.)
Morris was bleeding profusely from the face. Police had to take him to the Yale-New Haven Hospital to be treated for his injuries before arresting him for third degree intimidation and second degree breach of the peace. Morris' face, with one eye swollen shut as a result of his night out, can be seen here: http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/2010/09/as_weve_been_reporting_there.php
With thanks to Amanda Pinto of the New Haven Register and TPM Muckraker.
S. Olson
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