"Military Duties" - #332

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The Latest on GOP Cocksucker #307

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Another Hypocrite V.10.0 - #331

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The Latest On GOP Cocksucker #303

January 29, 2010: The Kansas jury in the murder trial of GOP Cocksucker #303 (SCOTT ROEDER) was out for about as long as it takes to get a drink order filled in a fancy restaurant on a Saturday night before convicting Scott Roeder of killing abortion doctor Dr. George Tiller of first degree murder and two charges of aggravated assault for pointing his gun at church ushers after he shot the doctor. This is not surprising since Roeder admitted to the Associated Press two months after his arrest and again on the stand that he shot Tiller.

'Pro-lifers' have killed eight abortion providers since 1993.

With thanks to the Kansas City Star and the website TPM Muckraker.

S. Olson

Lucky Stars - #330

#330 GALE NORTON
FORMER SECRETARY OF THE INTERIOR UNDER THE DRUNKEN FRAT BOY (2000-2006)
If there is anyone getting down on her knees to thank her lucky stars, it has to be Norton. She resigned her position as Interior Secretary in 2006, letting the job go to former Idaho governor Dirk Kempthorne.

This solved some problems for Norton, one of which was the Corbell v. Norton case, [the settlement is known as Corbell v. Salazar] in which she was held in contempt of court for failing to produce factual information on amounts owed to thousands of American Indians under an Indian trust fund. (The plantiff in the case argues the trust fund owes 300,000 American Indians $27 billion dollars.) http://jurist.law.pitt.edu/paperchase/2005/07/federal-judge-blasts-doi-orders.php

But there was also the GOP Cocksucker #47 (JACK ABRAMOFF) Affair. After Norton left, GOP Cocksucker # 49 (STEPHEN J. GRILES) the assistant secretary of the Interior, became enmeshed in the Affair and lied to a Senate panel investigating whether or not #47 had used #49 and his girlfriend, GOP Cocksucker #48 (ITALIA FEDERICI) to gain access to the department.

Norton must have thought she was home free in her job as senior counsel for Royal Dutch Shell Oil. When Norton quit at Interior in 2006, she said she didn't have another job lined up, but suddenly, she landed the job as senior counsel at Royal Dutch.

Which strikes investigators as funny because two months before she quit, Norton had awarded three oil shale leases on Colorado land worth hundreds of billions of dollars to a subsidiary of....wait for it.....Royal Dutch Shell Oil.

With Thanks to TPM Muckraker, the website Sourcewatch and the legal research website The Jurist.

S. Olson

Here Come Da Drunks! V. 27.0 - #329

#329 STATE SEN. GREG BARKAS
MONTANA STATE SENATOR

Wow. It's been more than four months since our latest shitfaced GOP Cocksucker. The last one was #108 (EUGENE MAYSKY) a former mayor in Pennsylvania and Type II (The Repeat Offender) drunk.

Classification: Type VIII (Drunken BOATER); Type II (Repeat Offender)
Object Hit: The shore.

Scut Farkas... I mean, Greg Barkas, (Nothing like 'A Christmas Story' reference to go over the heads of the GOP Cocksuckers) got indicted on one count of criminal endangerment and two counts of negligent vehicular assault today, sez the Flathead County Sheriff's office. [UPDATE 1/28/2010: Scut was indicted on some federal felony charges on 1/27/2010]

Normally that means trouble with cars but in this case, it means Scut and his BOAT both got smashed; Scut by scotch and red wine and the boat by the rocky shoreline of Flathead Lake.

Passengers on the boat said Scut was at an 'end of the summer' party at the Docks Restaurant in Lakeside MT. Scut said all he had was a couple of beers with dinner but a squealer....I mean, his chief of staff...said he had a couple of scotches before drinking red wine the rest of the night. [UPDATE: One of the waitresses said the same thing.]

Scut was so 'faced that 1 hour and 45 minutes after the accident, when he had to face the Breathalyzer, bane of GOP Cocksuckers everywhere, he blew a .16. Whoa! That's TWICE the legal limit. Scut really knows how to pah-tay!

This would be mildly amusing were it not for the consequences. Rep. Rick Rehburg (known for getting hammered himself and falling off horses in foreign countries) got a shattered ankle in the boat crash and even more tragically, his state director, Dustin Frost, got a severe head injury. [UPDATE: Frost survived after being in a coma for 10 days but left the hospital almost a month after the accident with a severe brain injury.]

Scut is going to be arraigned in two to three weeks. This is not the first time he's had problems with the Sauce. In the summer of 2004 he was arrested for reckless driving after being yanked over for suspicion of drunk driving. Before you feel TOO bad for Scut and his broken pelvis, keep in mind Rehburg's shattered heel and the fact that Frost was saved by campers in the area and now has to work to regain what doctors refer to as "higher brain functions" so he can come back to work. He also put his own wife and chief of staff in the hospital.

[UPDATE: Scut had felony charges (criminal endangerment and two counts of negligent vehicular assault) filed against him January 27, 2010. Each one carries a penalty of 10 years in the Pokey along with significant fines. Scut has 11 months left on his current term and is term limited.]

Courtesy of TPM Muckraker, The Flathead Beacon website, the Flathead County Sheriff's Department, the Great Falls Tribune, Roll Call and the blogs 4&20 Blackbirds and the Huffington Post.

S. Olson

Another Hypocrite V. 9.0 - #328

#328 DREW SWEATTE
GOP COCKSUCKER CANDIDATE FOR PALM SPRINGS, CA CITY COUNCIL

Sweatte is one of those big-time hypocrites in the GOP. Sweatte is campaigning as a conservative Christian for the council position in Palm Springs, even though he spent most of his time in eastern Washington near the Idaho border.

When Jim West, the violently anti-gay mayor of Spokane, WA was revealed to have been so deep in the closet he could tell what kind of mothballs were back there, Sweatte, who worked on his campaign, wrote a letter to the Spokane Spokesman-Review that said in part: "I am proudly an anti-homosexual Republican. I have never supported that type of lifestyle or the people who choose it."

Sweatte came out of the closet the FOLLOWING YEAR. Guess what excuse he used? He was scared to come out of the closet earlier because he might be targeted by 'Aryan Nations' the far-right group that had it's world heaquarters close by. What makes it delicious is that Sweatte has a quote by Thomas Jefferson on his Facebook page that goes: “In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.”

While standing like a rock, Sweatte accepted the endorsement of gay hater Meg Whitman but says he's opposed to Proposition 8, the referendum initiative in California that nullified gay marriages already performed in the state.

[UPDATE: Sweatte placed fourth.]

Thanks to ConservativeBabylon.com

S. Olson

Pedophile LXX

#327 GERRY HECK
FORMER PRIMARY CANDIDATE FOR A SOUTH DAKOTA STATE HOUSE SEAT WHO LOST TO GOP COCKSUCKER #212 (TED KLAUDT)

Man, they come out of the woodwork. Back in 2006, Heck lost the GOP Cocksucker primary for a state house seat to GOP Cocksucker #212 (TED KLAUDT) who is now serving 56 years in jail for child rape.

Turns out Heck got indicted last month for aggravated sexual abuse of a child and sexual contact with a child. Allegedly Heck fucked a girl on the on the Cheyenne River Indian Reservation, during the 1990s.

Or course this is just an allegation and Heck has not been found guilty of such a thing in front of a jury but let's face it, the man's a GOP Cocksucker. That means he guilty.

That's GUILTY!

GUILTY, GUILTY GUILTY!

Thanks to www.conservativebabylon.com

S. Olson

They Started Laughing - #326

#326 REP. TODD TIAHRT
REPRESENTATIVE FOR THE KANSAS 4th

Tiahrt suddenly ran into a politician's greatest fear the night of Sept. 21, 2009, when he went to a town hall meeting in his district and tried to tell a bunch of old people that if a house bill reforming health care went into effect, the government would set up a committee that would determine what every doctor in America would make.

What surprised Rep. Tiahrt was that all the elderly at the meeting started laughing at him.

S. Olson

GOP Cocksuckers In 'All-Out-Whine' Mode - #325

#325 REP. JOE 'YOU LIE!' WILSON
CONGRESSMAN FOR THE SOUTH CAROLINA 2ND

A month ago, Rep. Wilson was just a simple backbencher in the House of Representatives; a guy notable only for voting to keep the old Confederate flag flying above the state capital in Columbia or claiming to be an immigration lawyer when there is no record of him being any such thing.

But that was before President Obama's speech on health care. After the president said the bill he was contemplating did not cover illegal immigrants (it doesn't) Wilson had a meltdown in the crowd. Since the days of screaming "Nigger, don't let the sun set on you here!" were long gone, Wilson instead bellowed "You lie!" at the president during his speech to a joint session of congress.

This was a shocking breach of decorum. (You know what decorum is, right? That's what Southern gentlemen are supposed have in abundance. It goes way back; even before the Civil War. For instance, 150 years ago another South Carolina congressman, Preston Brooks, beat the living shit out of Sen. Charles Sumner of New York with his cane because Sumner had made a speech that Brooks didn't like. And what did Brooks' constitutents do? Why they sent him new canes.

(Brooks wasn't committing assault and battery, he was just exhibiting that famous Southern decorum with which every target of a lynch mob is familiar.)

Back to Wilson. Later, Wilson knew he'd screwed up and apologized privately to the President, who accepted it. However, he balked at doing it publicly. In fact, he was pissed off about having to eat Humble Pie where everyone could see it and made a point out of not apologizing ever again.

The House was furious, embarassed and humiliated. Some Cracker from a state one of its own residents prior to the Civil War had said was "too small to be a Republic and too large to be an insane asylum," had displayed his boorishness for all to hear. The House slapped him on the wrist with a resolution of disapproval, the mildest punishment it had.

Even that was too much for the GOP Cocksuckers. They went into all-out-whine mode, screaming that Rep. Wilson was being singled out because he was not a democrat. After all, it was the democrats who booed the Drunken Frat Boy during one of his State of the Union speeches in 2006. 'What's the difference?' they claimed. (The difference is that while unruly, the democrats never interrupted the Drunken Frat Boy's speech to call him a 'liar.' And believe me, they had a LOT of reasons to do so. THAT'S the difference.)

Disgusted democrats from all over the country contributed more than half a million dollars to Wilson's erstwhile opponent. Furious with rage, GOP Cocksuckers smugly committed more than a million dollars to Wilson's reelection campaign. (Thereby shoveling a million bucks into what is normally a reliably conservative district and taking it off the table to do mischief elsewhere. LOL)

S. Olson

Murderer #4 - #324

#324 STEVE NUNN
FORMER GOP COCKSUCKER GUBERNATORIAL CANDIDATE (KENTUCKY); FORMER STATE LEGISLATOR; FORMER EMPLOYEE FOR THE KENTUCKY HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES DEPARTMENT

You'd think the good people of Kentucky had enough trouble. But noooooooooooooo, they get choices like this:

In 2003, the GOP Cocksuckers in the state have their choice in the primary of THIS guy or GOP Cocksucker #82 (ERNIE FLETCHER) Who do they go with? GOP Cocksucker #82, who promptly gets his state enmired in a scandal involving the transportation department that is so big he has to issue blanket pardons for GOP Cocksuckers #83-94. (The pardon for #94 [SAM BEVERAGE] had a hole in it big enough to fly the starship Enterprise through so #94 he gets his ass indicted for perjury; convicted too.)

But back to #324. Nunn has such a stormy relationship with his former fiancee, Amanda Ross, that not only does it collapse but Ross gets a protective order keeping him the fuck away from her and prohibiting him from carrying a gun, period, after he hits her.

Furious that his life has gone to shit, Nunn believes it is all Ross' fault, so he goes to her apartment in Lexington, chases her through the apartment and finally shoots her four times in the parking lot (she dies later of her wounds at a hospital).

Nunn then slits his wrists and goes to the cemetery where his parents are buried. While there, he writes a seven-page letter saying he had been canned from his job, couldn't get ANY job, was a burden to his family etc. etc. He blames Ross for all of his problems. When the cops show up, Nunn gets off a shot at them before surrendering and when asked if he'd killed Ross, gets very evasive.

Nunn gets charged with murder and violation of a protective order.

S. Olson

Another Hypocrite V. 8.0 - #323

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Claim You Were Bucking Your Own Party - #322

#322 ALAN WEH
FORMER STATE GOP COCKSUCKER CHAIR AND NOW GOP COCKSUCKER GUBERNATORIAL CANDIDATE FOR NEW MEXICO

GOP Cocksuckers piss down your back all the time and then tell you its raining.

Alan Weh is a terrific example. Weh is the GOP Cocksucker candidate for the governorship of New Mexico. The problem Weh faces is that lately, New Mexico has been leaning democratic. It went for Obama this year and it probably has the US Attorney most fucked over by the Drunken Frat Boy administration, David Iglesias.

Weh claims he was bucking his party when he got in touch with GOP Cocksucker #309 (KARL ROVE) and demanded that Iglesias be fired and replaced with someone who "takes voter fraud seriously." Never mind the fact that it simply doesn't exist as a serious problem. (A case can be made that it really doesn't exist at all.) GOP Cocksucker #316 (PAT ROGERS) claimed that it is the 'ultimate wedge issue' for Republicans. That means its really not a concern for the country, just a partisan concern. Don't believe me? Check out the report from the Department of Justice right here: http://www.usdoj.gov/oig/special/s0809a/final.pdf

But Weh claims that because Iglesias was an appointee of the President, that he was bucking his own party by "saying anything about that guy."

Yeah. Riiiiight.

S. Olson

Another of Abramoff's Victims - #321

#321 DAVID AYRES
FORMER CHIEF OF STAFF TO EX-ATTORNEY GENERAL JOHN ASHCROFT

Yep, the GOP Cocksucker #47 (JACK ABRAMOFF) affair had its tentacles way into the Interior Department but lately it's the JUSTICE Department that's been getting some attention.

#321 will be taking the Fifth in the extortion trial of GOP Cocksucker #127 (KEVIN RING). You know what that means: guilty, guilty guilty. Course, since he's a GOP Cocksucker that means he's guilty of SOMETHING anyway.

Ayres allegedly accepted basketball playoff tickets from #127 in exchange for a $16.3 million dollar grant for the Mississippi Choctaw indians.

S. Olson

Pulling Rank - #320

#320 CHRIS CHRISTIE
FORMER US ATTORNEY AND NEW JERSEY GUBERNATORIAL CANDIDATE

The one thing you have drummed into you from Day One when you become a US Attorney is that you never use your position to try and get out a traffic citation. The Justice Department even shows you a videotape saying not to do it.

But GOP Cocksucker #320 (CHRIS CHRISTIE) must have slept through the tape. Christie first put a motorcyclist in the hospital seven years ago after he turned the wrong way down a one-way street and identified himself as a US attorney. Then, four years ago, #320 was stopped for speeding while driving an unregistered vehicle, and pulled rank on the arresting cop again.

[UPDATE: It's now GOVERNOR Christie as he defeated the incumbent. whose approval ratings were in the basement.)

S. Olson

'Our Country Deserves Better,'...Just Not The Truth - #319

#319 HOWARD KALOOGIAN
FORMER GOP COCKSUCKER CONGRESSIONAL CANDIDATE

Remember Howard Kaloogian? He was the Republican House candidate who in 2006 tried to pass off a picture of a quiet Istanbul street as having been taken during a trip he made to Baghdad -- then told a string of additional lies in trying to explain what happened.

Well, he's back. And this time he's taking the bamboozlement to a whole new level.

Kaloogian is the chair of Our Country Deserves Better, a GOP-affiliated PAC which has just launched what it calls the "Tea Party Express" bus tour. The tour -- which made a stop over the weekend in Elko, Nevada, where it kicked off a round of awkward dancing -- is the latest effort to organize the Tea Partiers into a cohesive movement.

Also involved in the effort is Sal Russo, the heavy-hitting California Republican political consultant and former Reagan aide who ran Kaloogian's ill-fated congressional campaign.

In 2005, Kaloogian and Russo teamed up to create Moving America Forward, which used conservative radio hosts to, as a spokesman put it, "report the good news on Operation Iraqi Freedom you're not hearing from the old line news media." It was a "Truth Tour," organized by MAF and the Defense Department's Office of Media Outreach, that Kaloogian claimed his Istanbul picture came from. Around the same time, Russo's firm signed a contract with the Kurdish government to promote Kurdish interests in the U.S., including T.V. advertising.

Now it looks like Kaloogian and Russo may have spotted their latest opportunity for political agit-prop. As with other Tea-Party-branded rallies, the anti-government types who are showing up for the tour's events appear motivated by a range of issues, from health-care to taxes to an unfounded fear of government control of the internet. The savvy activist who can cohere this inchoate anxiety into some kind of movement could turn himself into a powerful player in GOP circles. Never mind that Kaloogian and Russo's GOP insider operation doesn't do much for the supposed grassroots cred of the Tea Party brand.

The PAC's vice chair, talk radio host Mark Williams, said as much to NPR: "It's about time for somebody to run to the front of the parade. [To say] follow me and to try to herd all these cats into a semi-coherent message."

And who better to do it than our old friend Kaloogian?

Courtesy of TPM Muckraker

S. Olson

Another Hypocrite V. 7.0 - #318

#318 DOUG MANCHESTER
MAJOR BACKER FOR THE ANTI-GAY CALIFORNIA PROPOSITION #8

The Mormon church went all out to try and turn back
homosexual marriage in California. They just about had a seizure
when gay people could tie the knot there. But there were other
backers of Proposition 8 and one of them was the San Diego
hotelier Doug Manchester, who contributed $125,000 to the
Cause because he believed marriage should be between a man
and a woman like his bride of more than 43 years, Elizabeth.

But all was not cheery in Manchesterland. While not allowing
OTHERS to marry. Manchester saw absolutely nothing wrong
with HIS marriage. In fact, despite persistent rumors of
impending divorce, Manchester pooh-poohed them in February
2009, even though he'd moved out of their home in October
2008.

Manchester didn't see how it was anyone else's business and
couldn't understand why gay people had the same opinion when
it came to THEIR marriages.

S. Olson

"Never" Is A Dangerous Word - #317

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The GOP Cocksucker Dictum: "Good Job? Who Cares if He Does a Good Job?" - #316

#316 PAT ROGERS
NEW MEXICO ATTORNEY AND GOP COCKSUCKER ACTIVIST

Rogers is the guy who got former U.S. attorney and now cause celebré, David Iglesias, canned back in 2006 and who was regarded by GOP Cocksucker #309 (KARL ROVE) as the dream choice to replace Iglesias.

They really didn't give a shit if Rogers would do a good job, they just wanted him in there so he could use justice as a political hammer to use on their enemies. Rogers had already screeched that voter fraud was going on in New Mexico and it was people like Iglesias refusing to investigate it that was part of the problem. Rogers screamed the 28 people had fradulently voted in a local Democratic primary in 2006. Local authorities knocked down that allegation tout suite.

Then Rogers got too big for his britches. He hired a private investigator to brace two Hispanics in New Mexico and demand if they were legal citizens and thus had the right to vote.

Instead of being intimidated, the two hispanics brought in the ACLU and MALDEF, the Mexican-American Legal Defense and Educational Fund. To Rogers and the New Mexico GOP's astonishment, both organizations weren't understanding. They sued, saying they knew voter intimidation when they saw it.

S. Olson

Gonzo - #315

#315 ALBERTO GONZALEZ
FORMER ATTORNEY GENERAL OF THE UNITED STATES

You know, I thought I had included this dude on the list of GOP Cocksuckers long ago. I guess I was waiting for him to get indicted.

Not that that still can't happen. One lesson the GOP Cocksuckers have never seemed to master is that we aren't just out for revenge, we are out to get the peoples' business done. However, we'll take a 'gimme' just as fast as anyone else.

The big questions with Gonzo are, how involved was he in establishing torture vis a vis the Guantanamo detainees and more importantly, just what was his role in the firing of nine U.S. attorneys, who weren't canned until the Drunken Frat Boy's second term? Usually, they get axed when the new administration gets into town.

The GOP Cocksuckers were chortling when Gonzo was AG, even after his appearances in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee. "He's still there, you pukers!" was the encapsulation of their position. They were absolutely startled when we informed them, that we didn't WANT the Drunken Frat Boy to fire him. We WANTED Gonzo in front of the committee answering questions day after day after day. And sure enough, due to his stubborness, that's exactly what Gonzo gave us. He took a scandal that could have been over with in a month and turned it into a firestorm that not only raged the ENTIRE SUMMER and had him testifying in Congress every other week but it kept going even after he quit in 2007. No law firm would hire him. Gonzo finally got some work on patents in June of 2008 and then got a job with Texas Tech recruiting kids and teaching 'contemporary issues in the executive branch.' Fittingly, Gonzo whines that he is a 'casuality' in the war on terror.

S. Olson

Token - #314

#314 MEL MARTINEZ
FORMER SENATOR FOR FLORIDA

Martinez announced he was quitting the Senate to "spend more time with my family."

Uh-oh.
That is a dead-bang indication that an indictment is set to come down the pipe somewhere and Martinez is trying the old Republican trick of, "Well, all they want is my seat. Once I'm gone, the case will disappear. It's all political." Martinez had already admitted that he was not going to run again and it was well known that Florida Governor Charlie Crist was going to run for the seat.

Martinez had to be the most famous token on the Republican side of the aisle, with the possible exception of J.C. Watts of Oklahoma. (One of the reasons Watts declined to run again for Congress was he was sick and tired of GOP Cocksuckers posing with him in pictures for legislation he had nothing to do with.)

Ever since The Thumpin in 2006, the GOP was practically tearing its hair out trying to figure out a way to get Latino support. True to form, they picked Martinez as their token, figuring being able to say, "Hey we got a Cuban! We're not all a

buncha white people!" was some kind of a plus. After 10 months on the job of putting up with crap like this, Martinez' self-respect came to the fore because GOP Cocksuckers kept screaming about how immigration was a big problem--but only
on the southern border, not the northern one--you know, the one the terrorists came across when they flew planes into the World Trade Center?

A year later, insulted Latinos abandoned the GOP in droves, voting for President Obama. He got 80% of them. (The GOP Cocksuckers haven't learned anything, either. Who was the Republicans' pick to run the DNC after the 2008 bitchslapping by blacks?
Michael 'The Muppet' Steele, or as they call him, "OUR nigger.")

So why does he make the list? Well , number one, Martinez was one of three senators PRESENT who voted for the Palm Sunday Compromise, which was basically a bill of attainder moving the Terri Schaivo case into federal court, where Schaivo's parents proceeded to lose every single filing they made.

Number two is a classic GOP Cocksucker failing, he never admits doing anything wrong. It's always someone ELSE'S fault. Need proof? Okay. Remember the Schaivo case? Martinez accidentally passed a memo to Iowa Senator Thomas Harkin that outlined the advantages to the GOP of the Schaivo affair. But when the memo became public, Martinez pinned the blame on ex-attorney Brian Darling, saying Darling
had written it and he had known nothing about it.

How about more? When a flier came out during the 2004 Republican primary that linked his then opponent, Bill McCollum, to the "radical homosexual lobby," Martinez blamed a staffer for it.

Or maybe this one? When his campaign office circulated a news release saying that federal agents enforcing the law in the Elian Gonzalez case were "armed thugs," again it was the fault of a staffer who had written it, not him.

Now Gov. Crist, who wants the seat so badly his mouth tastes of warm spit, has littered his office with hurled objects from his desk at the idea of "that spic fuck!" for resigning early because Crist doesn't dare appoint himself. He was all set to run after his term as governor expired and now, he has to appoint somebody ELSE.

[UPDATE: Crist appointed George LeMieux to serve out the rest of Martinez term.]

S. Olson

Another Hypocrite V. 6.0 - #313

#313 PAUL STANLEY
STATE SENATOR FOR TENNESSEE

Why do GOP Cocksuckers think we are all lust-filled demons ready to snap at a moment's notice? Because THEY are and they believe we are all just like THEM.

Case in point, Paul Stanley, a state senator for the great state of Tennessee. Seems Stanley was fucking a 22-year-old intern and taking nude photos of her in 'provocative poses.' Do I have to mention he's also a GOP Cocksucker who was totally against sex education or gay adoption? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Things were going along just tickety-boo for Stanley when this April, he was horrified to get one of those fake-cheery text messages from the intern's boyfriend, who tried to shake him down for 10K because not only did he have the video of Stanley banging his girlfriend, he knew Stanley was a state senator (whch meant he had a lot to lose) and had a position as a financial adviser for this big-shot financial group. That group turned out to be the Stanford Financial Group; you know, headed by Allan Stanford? That guy who was arrested on allegations he was running an $8 billion Ponzi scheme?

From the standpoint of a blackmailer. This can only be summed up in one word:

Booyah!

Well, to Stanley's credit, he went straight to the cops. Good. The farm league blackmailer will probably head to the Hoozegow now before he makes it into the Big Leagues. But the affidavit Stanley had to sign doomed his political career....well, maybe not, this IS the South, after all. All he has to do is beg forgiveness and claim that Jesus ACTUALLY spoke to him this time and told him to mend his ways. Those Crackers will probably fall for it.

Stanley should get SOME credit, but let's not be too hasty. Turns out Stanley is married for the SECOND time with two children. What happened to Mrs. Stanley #1? Turns out #313 beat her three times; once so badly that she filed a restraining order against his santimonious ass.

You know what? I wouldn't be in too much of a hurry to expect the Forgiveness Wagon to show up at his door and give him a lifetime subscription to Absolution magazine.

S. Olson

Another Hypocrite, V. 5.0 - #312

#312 CHIP PICKERING
FORMER CONGRESSMAN FOR THE MISSISSIPPI 3RD

"It's not fair!" GOP Cocksucker whine. This whine--one of many-- is about how Big Bill practically got caught with his dick in another woman's mouth but when it came time to convict him because he got a blowjob and force him out of office, he got a pass from the media and the rest of the democrats. Meanwhile, the GOP likes to whine, anytime there's a sex scandal in OUR party, OUR guys either have to resign or get raked over the coals.

Well, the reason the media rakes the GOP over the coals more than the Democrats is NOT because the media's in the tank for the Democrats or because the dems are immoral. The reason the GOP gets hammered over sex scandals is because the Democrats aren't busy telling all of us how to run our private lives like the GOP Cocksuckers do. Then when the GOP Cocksuckers make a hash out of their love lives, well, it's understandable when the media reacts with a certain amount of somber glee at the spectacle of a hypocrite in trouble.

Take #312 (CHIP PICKERING) for instance.

Pickering was offered ex-Sen. Trett Lott's old senate seat for Mississippi by Gov. Haley Barbour (no number yet) but turned it down and actually quit Congress. (Barbour now denies offering him the seat.) Pickering then said he was leaving Congress to spend more time with his family, which is a dead giveaway that he was quitting because of some other reason. Then we found out what it was: Leisha Pickering, his wife, said in a 14 page lawsuit for alienation of affection, that #312 REALLY quit because his mistress, Elizabeth Creekmore-Byrd, told him to.

Pickering was one of those types who voted against gay marriage and tried to prevent gay people from adopting kids--in other words, ultra-conservative.

#312 lived in Washington D.C. at the C Street residence with other like-minded Christians, such as Senator John Ensign, (GOP COCKSUCKER #307) who slept with his wife's best friend, and Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina (GOP COCKSUCKER #308,) who lied to his staff that he was hiking the Appalachian Trial when what he was REALLY doing was flying to down toArgentina to fuck his mistress). What the hell is WITH that C Street house, anyway?

Well, at least #312 was fucking a grown WOMAN. GOP Cocksuckers have a little problem on that score, like #196 (NEIL HORSLEY) who admitted to having sex with mules, or #207 (JEFFREY NIELSEN) who testified in court to fondling a young boy in Virginia, or #225 (BOBBY STUMBO) who had sex with a five-year-old boy in Kentucky or #182 (GLENN MURPHY) "he had his dick in his hand and was sucking MY dick with his mouth!"

[UPDATE: This is not so much about GOP cocksucker #312 as it is the C Street house. It lost its tax exemption.]

S. Olson

Another Hypocrite V. 4.0 - #311

#311 SENATOR TOM COBURN
SENIOR SENATOR FROM OKLAHOMA

Whenever its money or sex, GOP cocksuckers always manage to get themselves in trouble.

For example sex. There is
GOP Cocksucker #190 (gay, but denies it)
#187 (felt up a woman on an airplane but denied it, then admitted it in court, then denied it court a couple of minutes later),
#198 (VERY gay while preaching to his flock it was a sin)
#199 (fucked a meth-addicted male hooker and then denied it while preaching to his flock beforehand etc.)
#35 (told to hit the road by a woman, then stalked her)
#178 (hookers)
#195 (closeted gay)
#277 (transvestite and closeted homosexual)
#202 (pedophile)
#211 (HOMOSEXUAL pedophile)
#182 ("He had his dick in his hand and MY dick in his mouth!")

I just HAD to include that last one for Lamont Cranston.

The point is that's just SOME of them. The list for those who've gotting in trouble for corruption or bribes is even LONGER. And what's the GOP Cocksucker answer? "Just look at what CLINTON did!"

LMAO

So how does that bring us to #311? He was involved with BOTH. Not that he was actually porking a woman not his wife, another man or a young boy, but...well, read further.

#311 traveled in the same sanctimonous circles as #307 (SEN. JOHN ENSIGN). When he was told that #307 was fucking the wife of his best friend, #311 agreed to stage an 'intervention.' In this case #311 urged #307 to break it off with the mistress, which #307 agreed to do, writing her a 'Dear John' letter. After #311 had driven him to Fed-Ex and watched him mail the latter, #307 promptly called the mistress and said the letter was coming and that it was just a total pile to get #311 off his back,

Where #311 is in trouble is what he ALSO told #307, namely, that it would take financial restitution to the tune of millions of dollars to get the mistress, her husband and her family to move away to Colorado from Nevada.

#311 denies this strenously. Probably because if true it sure sounds like conspiracy to pay hush money. [UPDATE: After dilly-dallying, #311 denied that it was hush money.] Sen. Coburn is also saying the cuckolded husband is deceiving the press and he needs to be investigated.

After urging the media to investigate the cuckold, Sen. Coburn then chastized the media in the same breath for reporting on the story at all because they are tearing the Ensigns and the Hamiltons apart.

"What do you think their kids are thinking about what you're writing right now?" Sen. Coburn demanded.

I wish one reporter had shot back, "Probably something along the lines of: 'How come you were fucking Uncle John, Mom?' Don't you love me?'"

S. Olson

The Pair - #309-#310

#309 KARL ROVE
PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY™ AND FORMER ADVISER TO THE DRUNKEN FRAT BOY
#310 HARRIET MYERS
FORMER WHITE HOUSE COUNSEL

Here's a Pair for The Ages.

The guy known as 'Bush's Brain' is next along with the Drunken Frat Boy's first choice for the Supreme Court. First, Rove.

Rove had been fighting a protracted legal battle with the House Judiciary Committee over two matters, the firing of the US Attorneys and the prosecution of former Alabama Governor Don Siegelman, which is looking more and more politically
motivated as time goes by.

The Pillsbury Doughboy™ has been fighting testifying under oath ever since he got his first subpeona back in 2007. The excuse was to protect the concept of executive privilege but the real reason because the Drunken Frat Boy White House did not want Rove going to jail over this matter because who knows who he'd roll on, then.

Here's how determined the Pillsbury Doughboy™ has been to not go in front of the committee and answer questions under oath: When the matter first came to a head, Congress had to go to court to force the White House to testify; the White
House lost but appealed the case and kept Rove out of the committee room in their Run-Out-The-Clock strategy. Well, they ran out the clock but congress just would not go away. It kept after him, forcing former Drunken Frat Boy adminstration
lawyers to negotiate an appearance by the Pillsbury DoughBoy™ in front of the committee.

The Drunken Frat Boy had to withdraw Miers Supreme Court nomination because even the GOP severe problems with her. Miers testified as to her role and others in the Siegelman prosecution last month. It is unclear what portions of their testimony will be released to the public. Miers was supposed to be an example of that
'political capital' the Drunken Frat Boy had earned after the midterms in 2002.

S. Olson

Another Hypocrite V.3.0 - #308

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Another Hypocrite V.2.0 - #307

#307 SEN. JOHN ENSIGN,
SENATOR FROM NEVADA

I have to retype this one from memory. The last 'another hypocrite' I did was GOP Cocksucker #288 (ED BUCKHAM).

Sen. Ensign was one of these clowns always insisting on what was moral and what wasn't. He was one of the members of 'The Family,' the secret conservative Christian cabal that used to have a house in C Street that had loads of adulterers in it despite being oh-so-moral. Guys like GOP Cocksucker #308 (GOV. MARK SANFORD) or GOP Cocksucker #312 (CHIP PICKERING).

Anyway, #307 got into trouble on June 16, 2009, when he confessed to banging Cindy Hampton, the wife of his best friend. It was going on for aobut 17 months. During that time, #307 made her the treasurer of the Battle Born Political Action Committee and the treasurer of the Senate Majority Committee, both of which were fundraising for Ensign. #307 made her the treasurer of his own campaign last year but that was about a month after the affair ended.

The Ensign business is one of those things that just will not die, since Ensign refuses to resign and more revelation come in a steady drip-drip-drip. I mean, just look at some of them:

1. GOP Cocksucker #311 (SEN. TOM COBURN) gets into the imbroglio, forcing Ensign to write a letter breaking off the affair and forcing him to fed-ex it to Hampton. (Ensign promptly contacted Hampton and told her in essence, that he had written the letter to get #311 off his back and he didn't mean a word of it.)

2. #311 denied that he told #307 to pay hush money to the Hamptons.

3. #307's loaded mommy and daddy pay the cuckolded husband $96,000.

4. Doug Hampton, the cuckolded husband, has an interview in early July of 2009 in which he contacted ex-Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum about the affair and heard nothing.

5. The Washington Post editorial board asks for an investigation into the entire matter by the Senate Ethics Committee.

6. #307's chief of staff quits.

7. #307's communications director quits.

8. #307's dad backs out of a casino project in Kansas over the matter.

9. State Rep. Dean Heller of the Nevada GOP says that Ensign should answer questions about the affair.

10. The Senate Ethics Committee launches a probe into the Ensign matter in October 2009.

11. TPM Muckraker and Politico both cite experts who say it would be hard for Ensign to NOT face criminal charges.

12. #307 moves out of The Family's C Street house.

13. The C street house loses its tax exemption.

14. The department of justice says a probe into the #307 case is a low-priority matter for them, meaning that repercussions over the affair can stretch over the YEARS.

15. Doug Hampton, the cuckolded husband, says the payments #307's parents made to him were definately severance, which would violate campaign finance laws.

16. Ensign claims that candidates in 2010 are eager to have him campaign for them but won't say who any of them are.

17. The Senate Ethics Committee issues subpeonas for documents in the Ensign case and his former chief of staff.

18. And in the latest bit, at the end of 2009, #307 goes on CNN all ready to rip President Obama up the middle over the failed terror attacks. He is visibly astonished when Rick Sanchez of CNN shows he hasn't forgotten about the affair and Ensign's attempts to try and sweep it under the rug.

S. Olson

Murderer #3 - #306

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Well, The Democrats Are Just As Bad." Suuuuuuuure They Are - #305

#305 JIM McCREARY, III
EX-RANKING GOP COCKSUCKER MEMBER OF THE HOUSE WAYS AND MEANS COMMITTEE
When I started the list of GOP Cocksuckers, a couple of posters tried the "Well, the Democrats are just as bad, if not worse," line on me. So I fired back: 'Actually, they aren't, especially in the realm of pedophilia--homosexual pedophilia. The GOP Cocksuckers are the undisputed champeens when it comes to that.'

Anyway, GOP Cocksuckers made all kinds of snarky remarks about ex-Rep. William 'Dollar Bill' Jefferson of the Louisiana 2nd; specifically, that Jefferson was caught with $90K stashed in his freezer and he's a Democrat. They brought this up constantly, apparently believing that Jefferson made up for all the times THEIR heroes were going to jail for bribery, murder, fraud, corruption, patronizing prostitutes, drunken driving, shoplifting and lying to courts and investigative bodies. The cash in Jefferson's freezer made up for ALL of it. The implication was that that GOP Cocksuckers were morally superior to the democrats.

Now it turns out that when Dollar Bill goes to trial, who is going to be one of his defense witnesses? Why none other than GOP Cocksucker and former representative, Jim McCreary. [UPDATE: Dollar Bill lost his reelection bid and was found guilty to boot.]

A small tidbit of history: McCreary used to represent the Louisiana 4th. Had he not run away from Congress, he would have been the ranking member on the powerful Ways and Means Committee. In other words, the chairman.

The problem for McCreary was that the writing was on the wall. Even though he had won HIS seat in 2006--that was the year of The Thumpin,' the year that the GOP Cocksuckers blew a 15-seat lead in the House of Representatives--that meant DEMOCRATIC Rep. Charles Rangel of New York would be getting the chairmanship of Ways and Means and McCreary would have to eat a shit taco. To make matters worse, he was smart enough to know that the GOP Cocksuckers were going to lose the White House in 2008. It didn't matter WHO they picked at their convention, whoever that was was going to lose; wow, TWO MORE years of eating that shit taco.

And then there were the persistent rumors that although he'd voted for anti-gay legislation, McCreary was actually so far in the closet that he could tell what kind of mothballs had been put in it during the Great Depression. Sooner or later, he reasoned, some bastard would put out a story and it would croak him with the voters. He already had a whiff of something in the wind. (Turns out he was right. Sixteen months after he made the announcement he was quitting, the documentary 'Outrage' came out. And it named names; McCreary's was one of them.) If he was in office at the time, those crackers he represented would stay away from the polls as if they were literacy tests and the democrats would never let him forget it. He could talk himself blue about financial and foreign policy and all his opponent would have to do would be to say, "He's gay. Next question." McCreary would never be able to cruise a gay bar in Baton Rouge again. So he quit.

S. Olson

You're Not Being Picked On. We're Just Telling People What You Do - #304

#304 MARCUS EPSTEIN
EXECUTIVE DIRECT0R OF 'TEAM AMERICA' THE PAC RUN BY FORMER REP OF THE COLORADO 6TH TOM TANCREDO AND 'THE AMERICAN CAUSE,' THE PAC OWNED BY PAT BUCHANAN AND HIS SISTER BAY BUCHANAN

That the GOP Cocksuckers is a party of folks who think racism is funny at *best* cannot be denied. I mean, these guys sit around drinking brandy, smoking big shit sticks called 'cigars' and bitch about niggers. You just know they do.

Remember President Ford's Secretary of Agriculture, Earl Butz, some time back? It was Butz who, in addressing the GOP's racial problems while shooting the shit with Pat Boone and former White House counsel John Dean, said: "You know why you can't attract coloreds? Because coloreds only care about three things: First, loose shoes, second, a tight pussy and third, a warm place to shit. That's all."

After that little bon mot, Butz was forced to resign. He went back to Indiana and whined, "Wha' hoppen?"

Ever since that incident, GOP Cocksuckers have thought that journalists are out to 'get' them when what they are actually telling people is what the GOP Cocksuckers are doing. But just in case you are one of those guys who think that when they get called on it, they are being picked on for *harmless* hijinks, take a look at the example of Marcus Epstein.

Epstein is the head of two PACS that focus on illegal immigration. He is a paleoconservative, which means he'd like to send America back to a time before the Great Depression, where niggers knew their place and women didn't have the vote. Of course, they have a highfalutin' rationale for all of this that doesn't sound like it came right out of Nazi Germany.

The Million-Pound Shithammer came down on Epstein's head today for something the Southern Poverty Law Center and OnePeoplesProject have been trying to get some action on for TWO FUCKING YEARS. Epstein was walking down a street and making rather offensive remarks. When he reached a black woman he called her a *nigger,* hit her over the head with an improvised karate chop and managed to escape briefly, only to be clotheslined out of his shoes by a Secret Service agent as he tried to flee.

Epstein pled guilty to the whole affair, thinking, as GOP Cocksucker #190 (SEN. LARRY CRAIG) did, that it would all go away and he could get down to the business of attending law school at UMV. But guess what? It DIDN'T go away. Now Epstein will not be attending UMV. Not only are we going to take 16 months of his life away from him but we will be destroying whatever career he thinks he might have too. Scary? Well, that's what happens when you fucks try to destroy OUR careers just cause we disagreed with you. Remember the 'example' you tried making out of the Dixie Chicks? Gosh, WE do.

Murderer #2 - #303

#303 - SCOTT ROEDER
KANSAN ANTI-ABORTION ACTIVIST
Scotty is allegedly involved in the killing of Dr. George Tiller in Wichita. But let's face it, this dude is a GOP Cocksucker and he has a history of threatening abortion providers. [UPDATE: It doesn't help matters for him when he told the Associated Press two months ago that he did it.] Odds are, he's guilty.

He's also entangled with The Freemen. Remember THOSE guys beck in the '90s? They were the guys in Montana who had pissed off just about every rancher in the area by simply declaring they didn't have to obey any laws they didn't like and arming themselves to the teeth to shoot anyone who disagreed. They traveled around in cars that had license plates that said this: "Sovereign -- Private Property -- Immunity Declared at Law --Non Commercial American."

On the anniversary of the OKC bombing, Roeder was stopped by the cops and his car searched because of just such a plate. Know what they found in it? A blasting cap; two six-volt lantern batteries, one wired with a clothespin and a cigarette wrapper; and a 1-pound can of black gunpowder. When they searched Roeder's house, they found instructions for a bomb marked: 'Clothes Pin Time-Delayed Switch.' Roeder had been sentenced to 16 months for violating his parole but took advantage of a technicality that the evidence against him was illegally gathered.

So, did Roeder shoot Tilley, or not? The answer: Probably.

[UPDATE: #303 is scheduled to go on trial for Dr. Tiller's murder Jan. 11, 2010. The prosecutors already have 220 witnesses and on Jan. 4, 2010, they added 10 more. Roeder has already told the Associated Press that he shot Dr. Tiller in order to "protect unborn children."]


S. Olson

The Former New York Top Cop - #302

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