What? American Bigots Aren't Good Enough?

#455 GEERT WILDERS
DUTCH PARLAMENT MEMBER AND NOTED MUSLIM BIGOT

Yes, when the Teabaggers had their big Islamaphobapalooza at Ground Zero
Saturday, who was their keynote speaker? None other than KKK Imperial Wizard
Nathan Bedford Forrest...wait,wtf? They picked Dutch parlamentarian Geert Wilders. He was just READING one of the KKK's speeches while substituting the word 'muslim'
whereever the speech read 'nigger.'

Wilders is more of a Honorable Mention on the list of GOP Cocksuckers, but rest assured, if he was an American, Gertie would be a GOP Cocksucker right out of Mama Wilders' wrinkled old lady parts. He talks just like one of them, for starters.

Wilders was introduced by GOP Cocksucker #572 (PAMELA GELLER) of the conservative blog, Atlas Shrugged, and a virulent racist, (especially when it comes to Muslims,) as a Churchillian speaker. Then Gertie, who is on record as opposing all mosques being built in the Netherlands and denies Islam is even a religion even though it has two billion worshippers, delivered a fiery speech denouncing Muslims as "intolerant."


S. Olson

The Fall Guy #454

#454 YATES WALKER
DELAWARE GOP COCKSUCKER FLUNKY AND LATEST FALL GUY

A bit ago when I entered GOP Cocksucker #453 (CHRISTINE O'DONNELL) on this blog,
I said she was leading a whispering campaign about her opponent in the GOP
Cocksucker Senatorial primary, Rep. Mike Castle, being a homosexual. #453 denies
hotly that she's doing it. Who she DOES blame for doing it? #454. That's after she
fired his ass.

The excuses have already started flying from #453, how Walker made homosexual
references to Castle witout O'Donnell's knowledge, "I fired him," etc. etc. Walker
made the charge at the beginning of September 2010 two weeks after leaving the
O'Donnell campaign. He told Ben Smith over at Politico that he knew he had no
evidence of the claim, just said he thought he'd "throw it out there."

Um, this is the media strategy of a guy who's ALREADY backed the wrong horse
earlier. Like, TWO MONTHS earlier. The horse in question was GOP Cocksucker #493
(RICK BARBER). Barber got the living shit kicked out of him in the Republican
primary for the Alabama 2nd by Martha Roby. Seriously. Roby kicked Barber's ass by
20 percentage points after Walker got Barber to approve a TV Commercial called
'Gather your Armies' espousing violent revolution. You can see it here:
http://www.liquida.com/video/a65a357c/gather-your-armies/

(If I was Barber, I'd be saying, "Thanks just awfully Yates." But who am I kidding?
Barber APPROVED the damn thing to begin with. They gathered their armies all right.
They probably all fit inside the same Clown Car.)

What else did Walker do for O'Donnell in the two weeks he worked for her? Well, he
sent out a blast e-mail that erroneously claimed Castle voted for the Stimulus Bill. He did no such thing.

Before that, Walker stuck his nose into the New York 23rd and claimed that the GOP
leader for the nomination, Dede Scozzafava, wasn't conservative enough. He stuck the district with GOP Cocksucker #546 (DOUG HOFFMAN) as the GOP nominee with the result that Scozzafava endorsed the DEMOCRAT, who won by the way. Walker managed to fuck things up for the GOP so badly that the district went democratic for the first time since the Civil War.

Jesus, with help like THIS, who needs enemies?

With thanks to TPM Muckraker, Politico.com, WLTZ.com, newsday.com and the Delaware Republican Record.

S. Olson

In Case You'd Forgotten, We Took 20 Grand Away From That Nut Orly Last Month That Probably Would Have Gone To Teabagger Mischief

With no more appeals left, Orly Gabor, the queen of the birthers, had to pay the $20,000 sanction August 19, 2010, that Judge Clay Land of Georgia socked her with when she insisted on using his court for frivolous appeals in the Rhodes v. McDonald case. That's right, guys. We FORCED her to pay up!

And there is nothing you can do about it.

Now Orly is trying to get her money back via a motion for the district court to reconsider. Since she filed one of these BEFORE and it crashed and burned, I kinda think this one is going to fail too. I mean, now she's trying to get President Obama to pay her sanctions. Good luck with that, Orly. LMAO!

Birthers should know that every single one of their cases--every damn one--have been thrown out of court. This is not because the courts are corrupt, it's because all these birther cases don't even pass the Laughter Test.

S. Olson

Kookster C - #453

#453 CHRISTINE O'DONNELL
TEABAGGER CANDIDATE FOR DELAWARE SENATE

In the latest effort by the Teabaggers to take over the GOP, say hello to Christine O'Donnell who is challenging moderate Republican Rep. Mike Castle for Vice-President Joe Biden's old senate seat.

O'Donnell is the latest one of the 'Mama Grizzlies,' the nickname former Alaska Governor and GOP Cocksucker #412 (SARAH PALIN) has dubbed those she's endorsed, usually upstarts that have not gotten the support of the GOP power brokers. She's had a certain amount of success, most notably in her home state of Alaska, where Fairbanks attorney and GOP Cocksucker #605 (JOE MILLER) narrowly beat incumbent Sen. Lisa Murkowski in the primary and in Nevada where ultra-conservative GOP Cocksucker #452 (SHARRON ANGLE) beat the anointed GOP creature, GOP Cocksucker #381 (SUE LOWDEN) but she has not had a single one of her people win an election to congress.

To be blunt, O'Donnell is a nut. Especially on the subject of sex. Seriously, even Victorians were not as uptight as O'Donnell is. I mean, first she has the familiar:

1. Homosexuality is evil.

Even the manipulative:

2. She hints that her opponent is gay. In fact, she's pushing your basic whispering campaign that flat out says that, even though she denies it.

But then she really flies off the tracks:

3. Mastubation is dead-wrong. In fact, it is eqivalent to adultery.
4. Even LOOKING at pornography is wrong.

She has some other beauts, such as she's paranoid that people are following her around and has staffers check the bushes around her home at night, shadiness involving back taxes and questionable campaign fundraising tactics.

Democrats are hoping and praying that O'Donnell wins the GOP primary as the universal opinion is that they will crush her at the polls worse that Vice-president Biden did when he faced her a few years ago. Even GOP Cocksucker #541 (ERICK ERICKSON) the conservative blogger who never met a conservative he didn't like, said in his September 3 blog that O'Donnell is not going to win and he's had it with the anti-gay stuff.

With thanks to TPM Muckraker and WDEL radio.

S. Olson

Kookster B - #452

#452 SHARRON ANGLE
TEABAGGER AND GOP COCKSUCKER SENATORIAL FRUITCAKE

The word was that the GOP had Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid beaten and beaten badly. GOP Cocksucker #381 (SUE LOWDEN) was going to be their candidate and she was going to beat the stuffing out of Reid in November by as much as 20%, All she had to do was win the GOP Nomination.

Then she made the 'Chicken Gaffe.'

Seeing the democratic moves toward health care reform, a confident Lowden said offhand that if we really wanted to bring health care costs down, we didn't have to use money, we could use barter, just as our grandparents did and pay our doctors with chickens. Then she repeated it the next day when given a chance to walk the remark back.

The democrats couldn't believe their luck. They went after Lowden. They created a website mocking the entire idea, they called it 'Chickens for Checkups,' they hired someone to appear at Lowden's rallies dressed in a chicken suit.

Suddenly, Lowden looked at her internal polls and they showed her dropping like a hot air balloon with a leak in it. Nothing could stop the fall. Everywhere she went, all people wanted to talk about were chickens, chickens, chickens. Worst yet, they were doing the one thing politicians fear the most: they were laughing at her.

When the primary came and went, the winner was Angle, the ultra-conservative that Reid had polled the best against of any of the challengers. Reid's camp was delirious with joy even though Angle led Reid at the time by 11 percentage points. They wasted no time striking at Angle, and when they did, they picked a haymaker designed to knock her right out of the political ring.

Angle's more conservative positions on her website--the one she had campaigned on in the primary--were losers in the general election. The GOP took them down, forced Angle to scrub her website and then put her new, improved views back.

They hadn't reckoned with the democrats having taken a screen shot of the OLD website. They put it up with the headline 'TheRealSharronAngle.com.' It had all her statements there about getting rid of social security, about getting rid of the Department of Education, about leaving the United Nations, about using the Second Amendment (the legalization of guns) to handle politicians along with others.

Angle was enraged. So was her campaign. To the democrats' glee, Angle tried to sue the Reid Campaign for violation of copyright unless the website was taken down. The Reid Campaign did...for a day...then put it right back up again, saying they just wanted to take off some fundraising information Angle had on the old site. When Angle threatened them a second time, the Reid Campaign simply laughed in her face and dared her to sue. Nothing happened.

Now Reid leads Angle by seven points in what is being called the biggest political turnaround in history and the margin is growing. Meanwhile, Angle's strategy is to avoid the legitimate media at all costs.

With thanks to TPM Muckraker, the New York Times, Politico.com, the Las Vegas Sun, the Washington Post, and the Las Vegas Review-Journal

S. Olson

The Latest Crybaby Whine

Man, the GOP Cocksuckers keep whining and crying no matter how much time has gone by.

GOP Cocksucker #72 (RANDY 'DUKE' CUNNINGHAM) is now whining he's being badly treated by the IRS which wants liens on the money he was bribed with back in 2004 by GOP Cocksucker #1 (BRENT WILKES) while a congressman for the California 50th. Cunningham says that was never covered in his restitution agreement with the goverment when he agreed to pay back $1.8 million in bribes.

Judge Larry Burns patiently wrote back to this neanderthal that the liens the IRS served on him were for the back taxes on the bribes Cunningham admitted to taking and have nothing to do with his restitution. He could have written, 'Aw, quit your bitching and serve your time, convict,' but didn't.

With thanks to TPM Muckraker and journalist Seth Hettena

S. Olson

Kookster - #451

#451 JOEL HANSEN
NEVADA AMERICAN INDEPENDENT PARTY LAWYER

If anything illustrates the fact that the kooks are coming out of the woodwork this
election cycle, you don't have to look much farther than guys like Joel Hansen of the Nevada Independent American Party and NOTHING has them more upset than Health
Care Reform.

While several states, such as Virginia, Missouri, Alabama and South Carolina have
sued based on the 10th Amendment, Hansen is going all out, saying the Patient
Protection and Affordable Care Act violates the First, Third, Fourth, Fifth, Ninth,
Tenth and 13th amendments.

(I cannot for the life of me understand how the PPAC violates the Third Amendment,
which prohibits the quartering of troops in people's homes or the Ninth Amendment,
which specifies that the enumeration of the amendments cannot be used by judges
to determine the importance of one over another.)

Hansen's biggest stretch is the 13th Amendment, which outlaws slavery. Hansen
claims the PPAC constitutes peonage by forcing them to pay a debt by threat of
legal sanction. He says nothing about the same thing being done with auto insurance. Hansen also claims the First Amendment in involved because the PPAC forces people to pay for abortions, which is a violation of religious freedom. He cannot, however, point to anywhere in the bill where there is such a thing and federal law --in the form of the Hyde Amendment--prohibits that anyway.

Hansen has a long 32-year history of supporting crackpot notions, such as representing people who want to be paid in 'honest' money, namely gold or silver
coins and not Federal Reserve Notes, which he claims are worthless. (However, he's
happy to take them.)

With thanks to TPM Muckraker and the Law Vegas Review Journal

S. Olson

The Rodeo Clown - #450

#450 GLENN BECK
FOX NOT THE NEWS COMMENTATOR WHO PRETENDS TO BE A NEWSMAN

Holy Shit. Where do we start?

GOP Cocksucker #385 (BILL O'REILLY) used to be the Big Cheese on Fox Not the News, packing the illiterates in to watch his program, The O'Reilly Factor, but then Billo's credibility started dropping as the helium slowly began leaking from his blimp.

First came the Andrea Mackris Affair, in which he sexually harassed a producer of his show by telling her on the phone about a fantasy he had of masturbating her with a loofah (Or a falafel. Billo gets things mixed up.)

Then he enriched Sen. Al Franken of Minnesota by suing him for libel, even though Fox Not the News attorneys told him not to. The judge in the case threw out O'Reilly's suit in record time, observing that it was "wholly without merit," thus providing Fox Not the News with another slogan.

Third, he fucked up the Malmedy incident of World War II, claiming American G.I.' s shot down surrendering German SS officers during the Battle of the Bulge when actually the opposite occured. After this beaut, even O'Reillly's aging audience were wondering "What the fuck?" They may be gullible, but they aren't THAT gullible.

(The same thing happened with GOP Cocksucker #70 (THE FAT JUNKIE) although to be fair, he's been looked upon as a joke for a lot longer. He was skewered by activist Janeane Garofalo, who said that he was a narcissist filled with self-loathing. In a classic line, Garofalo said The Fat Junkie would go to his grave "unfixed." The Fox demographic still listened to Limbaugh, but it was like listening to my great-grandmother continuing to use her old wood stove after she'd gotten a new electric one because, quote, "Dat ting yust don't cook right." I.e., they didn't place much stock in him.)

Since #386 and #70 have fallen from favor, who is the new kid on the block? Why #450, the Mormon alcoholic drug user and ex-shock jock who cries on his program at the drop of a hat and has been losing sponsors willy-nilly since he called President Obama a racist (he recanted that a couple of weeks ago.)

Beck, who in case you think I'm mean, calls HIMSELF "a rodeo clown" on his Facebook page and has in an interview, tries portraying himself as an unedcated man and a professional journalist at the same time. It's a variation of a schtick #70 still uses in which he portrays himself as a journalist until he gets caught, then claims he's anentertainer until the heat dies down and he can claim to be a journalist again.

What Beck IS is a huckster, who has gotten wealthy off merchandising books, his bogus university and Fusion magazine among other things to the Guillible that is his audience. Beck is also a ruthless self-promoter. His last appearance, a rally in front of the Lincoln Memorial on the same day as Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech, featured Beck lauding himself for most of his speech, comparing himself to George Washington and Benjamin Franklin. Beck has now launched a website where most of the content talks about the wonderfulness ofGlenn Beck.

Most of Beck's conspiracy theories--and they ARE conspiracy theories--have their origins in Cleon Skoussen, a Mormon racist, a fired former chief of police, virulent anti-communist, far-right speaker and all-around kook who died in 2006.

Beck would snarl that he doesn't--or if he does, they are of no consequence--make mistakes or tell lies. But he does. ALL the time. What he counts on is that he can make a pile off the Gullible before it catches on. Here are just SOME of them:

1. During his "I Have A Scheme" speech, Beck claimed half a million people showed up. (Actually, 85,000 did.)

2. Claimed on Fox and Friends July 28, 2009, that President Obama is a racist. (At first, Beck tried to bully his way through the charge but as he kept losing sponsor after sponsor--200 as of March 2010--he tried getting Fox Not the News owner Rupert Murdoch, to bankroll his show, which he did for a little while, but the pressure did not abate. Finally, after his "I Have A Scheme" rally, Beck apologized on Fox Not the News Sunday to Chris Wallace.)

3. Claimed to his followers at the "I Have a Scheme" rally that he held the original inaugural statement in his hand that was penned by George Washington. (True to form, Beck admitted that this was a lie but it really didn't matter.)

4. Claimed Green Jobs presidential adviser Van Jones had been convicted of a felony. (True to form, Beck admitted that this was a lie but it really didn't matter. This is a guy who's supposed to stand for honor and integrity?)

5. Claimed that Robert Creamer a liberal activist was a "unrepentant convicted felon." (Ummm. No. Creamer was very repentant, confessing to bank fraud and paying all the money back that he owed the IRS, plus penalties. Beck also said the security breach at a state dinner November 24, 2009 was to distract attention from Creamer. )

6. Swore that 45% of doctors said they would quit if health care reform passed. (It's passed. They aren't quitting.)

7. Claimed that John Holdren, the director of the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy, promoted abortions and putting substances in drinking water that would leave people sterile. (This is blatantly false. He never said any such thing.)

8. We are the only country in the world that has citizenship on birth, (No we aren't. Guatamala, Canada, Romania, Brazil, Mexico, Pakistan, to mention a few, all have it.)

9. Beck claimed that the wife of Imam Rauf, the muslim heading up the construction of the Park 51 project claims that all Americans hate muslims. (She didn't, she said it was the protestors who seemed to hate muslims.)

10. President Obama wants to force doctors to perform abortions. (Title 42, § 300a-7 of the U.S. Code safeguards doctors from not performing abortions if their religious or moral beliefs say otherwise.)

With thanks to MediaMatters. com, PolitiFact.com and thedemocratichub.com.

S. Olson

Not A Friend in the World

GOP Cocksucker #433 (DAN MAES) is even having his Teabagger buddies abandonining him.

After slapping the shit out of GOP Cocksucker #500 (SCOTT McINNIS) to win the GOP Cocksucker gubernatorial primary because McInnisd got himself embroiled in a plagarism scandal for which he was paid $300,000, Maes expected to get the endorsementa of the party faithful, which he did...at first.

Then all the weird shit became known to the voters and pretty soon Maes couldn't talk about any of his ideas for the state, assuming he had any. He could only talk about...well...Dan Maes.

As in, did he really think the program to encourage people to ride bicycles around Denver was a plot by the United Nations?

And the latest one, how come you told everyone you used to be an undercover cop when you never were?

Episodes like these have caused more and more GOP regulars like ex-Sen. Hank Brown to take back their endorsements. Now even his fellow teabaggers, seeing a statewide bloodbath looming in Colorado, have asked him to step down.

First was Leslie Hollywood, the director of the Northern Colorado Teabaggers. Then came Teabagger activist Janet Rowland, Evergreen/Conifer Tea Party co-coordinator Connie Bierkan, Western Slope Conservative Alliance president Jennifer Bailey, R Block Party co-founder Nikki Mata, Lu Busse, the chair of the 9.12 Project Colorado Coalition and now GOP Cocksucker #535 (KEN BUCK) the GOP Cocksucker senatorial candidate and Teabagger that beat GOP Cocksucker #410 (JANE NORTON) the establishment candidate that distinguished herself for running away from the press when they started asking question about her lobbyist background. All of them have left Maes high and dry.

Maes stubbornly tweets he is not going to quit. Even though the head of the Colorado Republican Party, GOP Cocksucker #423 (DICK WADHAMS) fervently wishes he would, telling the Denver Post, "He has nobody left."


Sixty days before the election, John Hickenlooper, Maes' opponent, leads him by 11 points and rising.

With thanks to the Denver Post, Westword and TPM Muckraker.

S. Olson

Sheriff Joe's Latest B.S.

GOP Cocksucker #366 (SHERIFF JOE ARPAIO) is whining now that the Department of Justice has had it up to here with his bullshit and has sued his crooked ass.

Acting the injured innocent after the DOJ sued him for not cooperating with their investigation into civil rights violations, Arpaio whined that he just wanted to know why the DOJ wanted certain documents from his office.

To its credit, the DOJ told Arpaio that they just wanted the documents and they didn't have to tell him a fucking thing. Arpaio whined that he was being picked on and said the feds should be thanking him for patrolling the Mexican border. Never mind the fact that enforcing the border is the job of the feds, not the county.

With thanks to the Phoenix star and TPM Muckraker.

S. Olson

The Cryptkeeper - #449

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Flamingly Southern - #448

#448 LARRY MERCHANT
FORMER S.C. POLITICAL BIG WHEEL WHO DESTROYED HIS CAREER IN POLITICS

Merchant not only backed the wrong horse in the run for governor of Georgia, namely GOP Cocksucker #363 (LT. GOV. AMDRE BAUER) against GOP Cocksucker #400 (NIKKI HALEY,) he also flushed his career down the drain.

In a desperate attempt to stop Haley in the primary, Merchant tried to capitalize on charges made by blogger Will Folkes, a former communications aide to GOP Cocksucker #308 and gift that keeps on giving (MARK SANFORD). Folkes said he had an 'inappropriate sexual relationship' with Haley. Merchant subsequently said he fucked Haley while they were at a convention in June a couple of years ago. This charge didn't get too much traction, as Jon Stewart of the Daily Show showed, to absolutely hilarious effect, around the 7:45 mark here: http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-june-7-2010/thank-you--south-carolina---the-race-to-replace-disgrace

With thanks to The Daily Show and TPM Muckraker

S. Olson

Cover Up Everything #447

#447 ANNE WOMACK-KOLTON
FORMER CAMPAIGN PRESS SECRETARY FOR GOP COCKSUCKER #200 (DICK CHENEY)

Not only was Womack-Kolton Darth Vader's press secretary before he and the Drunken Frat Boy moved into the Oval Office but she had lots of experience as the voice of the Department of Energy defending Cheney's secret meetings with oil lobbyists

Which may be why British Petroleum, the oil company that caused the worst enviromental damage in American history by being unable to cap it's badly leaking oil well for more than two months, hired Womack-Kolton to run their PR efforts. Her job? Cover up everything.

With thanks to TPM Muckraker

S. Olson

The Pinata With Hair

Don't let anyone tell you that Islamophobia isn't spreading from New York.

The flap over the Park 11 cultural center has spread to Murfreesboro, TN, where construction equipment used to lay the groundwork for a mosque there has been set ablaze and Tumecula, CA, where teabaggers tried intimidating Muslims with barking dogs.

It's also spread to West Haven, CT, but not in the form that 31-year-old Kevin Morris would have approved.

After walking into the Fire & Ice Hookah Lounge (I LOVE that name.) and screaming racial epithets at a number of black and middle eastern people, a drunken Morris...how can I put this delicately?.....ehh I can't...got the everlovin' shit kicked out of him. By the time police showed up, the outside of the Lounge looked like a hockey game with Morris playing the role of the puck. Bystanders told police that one of the patrons had rung Morris' bell several times before running off. (But you just know that they made that guy up and in reality EVERYONE had taken their best shot at Morris' drunken ass; like he was a pinata with hair.)

Morris was bleeding profusely from the face. Police had to take him to the Yale-New Haven Hospital to be treated for his injuries before arresting him for third degree intimidation and second degree breach of the peace. Morris' face, with one eye swollen shut as a result of his night out, can be seen here: http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/2010/09/as_weve_been_reporting_there.php

With thanks to Amanda Pinto of the New Haven Register and TPM Muckraker.

S. Olson

OMG! The Homosexuals! Watch Out! It's The Homosexuals!- #448

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Why Won't GOP Cocksucker #412 (BIBLE SPICE) Talk To the Press?

Well, it's not that big a mystery. The answer is: because everytime she does she reveals herself to be an incurious snowbilly and it turns into a fucking disaster. Except for the snow part, we've had enough of that. Look at all the damage that kind of thinking did between 2000 and 2008.

Remember the two interviews with Katie Couric during the campaign of '08 when Palin revealed herself to be an ignoramus who couldn't name any of the Founding Fathers or tell us what magazines she reads? Palin sure does. She tries to put a good face on it, but the memory of the Couric interviews, which DESTROYED any chance for her to be vice-president, still burn.

So now Palin won't cooperate with anyone in the media unless she has total control or it's Fox Not the News. Wanna simple example? Okay, local journalists from small papers CAN attend Palin's speeches around the country, but cameras are only permitted for the first 15 minutes.

Here's another one: Palin used to regularly take to news shows and tell bald-faced whoppers or even ignore reporters' questions completely. She doesn't anymore because she can't control them.

None of this stops the media, which for some reason is interested in anything this dumb broad says. Vanity Fair is the latest outfit to come out with a profile that shows Palin to be a ruthless snowbilly who steps on people, staffers and relatives in order to get to power. It also says that Palin doesn't write her famous facebook page but employs a blogger to do it because she is obsessed with her public persona.

She's also maipulative, a rotten tipper and perfectly willing to exploit others for her own personal gain.

With thanks to TPM Muckraker

S. Olson

The GOP Cocksucker Who Tried to Help The Rapist - #445

#445 DENNIS NOLAN
EX- STATE SENATOR FOR NEVADA

GOP Cocksuckers love to claim that Democrats are nothing but corrupt lawbreakers, if not outright communists with no respect for the rule of law. So it's really delicious when one of them gets hoisted on his own petard, like Nolan.

Nolan got caught offering the ex-wife of a friend of his, child rapist Gordon Lawes, a bribe. Nolan said that was not so, that he merely left three messages on her voice mail and said it would be "financially beneficial" for her to tell the truth in the affair, which had resulted in Lawes being convicted of raping his 16-year-old sister-in-law and then sentenced to life in prison.

Nolan said he was saying he would pay Jamie Lawes to meet him and then show up
wearing a wire and getting her to say that the sex was not rape at all but consensual.

But then that story changed. Nolan claimed when he talked about financial inducement
in the voice messages, he was trying to discredit her FATHER, who had made ads for
his primary opponent, Elizabeth Helseth, by saying that he had abused the rape victim.

Then Norton suggested that the Helseth campaign, which had recieved the voicemail
Norton had left for Lawes, had altered the tapes.

Then it was Lawes' turn to get into the act, claiming that Nolan's story was evidence of insanity.

A month later, Nolan was beaten by Helseth.

With regards to TPM Muckraker and the Las Vegas Daily Journal

S. Olson

GOP Cocksucker #376 Makes a Crowd Estimate

The GOP Cocksuckers and their Teabagger allies go absolutely bonkers when you suggest their numbers really don't amount to anything to be worried about. It may be one of the biggest myths this year that Teabaggers amount to a potent political force.

Take the 'Restoring Honor' rally that was held on the 40th Anniversary of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s 'I Have a Dream' speech at the Lincoln Memorial. GOP Cocksucker #470 (GLENN BECK) expected 300,000 people to show up for the thing and Fox Not the News, which pretends to be a news organization, pimped it mercilessly. After the rally, The Rodeo Clown claimed 500,000 Beckerheads showed up.

But that was nothing compared to GOP Cocksucker #376 (REP. MICHELE BACHMANN,) the Teabagger darling and headcase from the Minnesota 6th. Bachmann has had some beauts in the past, such as:
A. Claiming that the census is designed to enslave us.
B. Literally hid in the bushes to watch a gay pride rally.
C. Claimed that Iran wanted to partition Iraq so it could set up a terrorist state in the NORTHERN part of the country, when the people closest to Iran--from a religious point of view, that is--live in the SOUTHERN part, which it borders.

Her latest was to claim that 1.6 MILLION people came to the 'Restoring Honor' rally in D.C. Actually, it was 85,000. LOL Ten times more people showed up for the Million Man March.

S. Olson

The $400 Million Incompetents - #444

#444 BRET SCHUNDLER
FORMER NEW JERSEY EDUCATION COMMISSIONER UNDER GOP COCKSUCKER #320 (GOV. CHRIS CHRISTIE)

In New Orleans, GOP Cocksucker incompetence got people killed. In New Jersey it just cost them $400 million bucks.

Schundler is finding out the hard way three nasty little traits of the GOP Cocksuckers--Wait, who I am kidding? He's a GOP Cocksucker himself, he already knows them. His problem is another GOP Cocksucker got to turn them on him first.

The traits he fell afoul of are:
1. Nothing bad is EVER a GOP Cocksucker's fault. Even though they are incompetent.
2. GOP Cocksuckers NEVER admit error.
3. GOP Cocksuckers will turn on their own kind in a New York minute, especially if possible jailtime is involved. (See GOP Cocksucker #47 [JACK ABRAMOFF] for examples. For you folks in New Jersey, check out the hilarious example of GOP Cocksucker #34 [TERRENCE WELDON].)

GOP Cocksucker #320 cost the state of New Jersey $400 million in federal education grant money, when he overruled an application made by Education Commissioner Schundler for a grant in the 'Race to the Top' program.

Christie overruled the application because ithad been worked out with the hated New Jersey teacher unions and because it didn't agree with Christie's views of education. He submitted a different application that was more to his liking.

However, the Christie application had errors in it, errors big enough to disqualify New Jersey from getting any grant money. If they had simply left it alone, NJ and not Ohio would have gotten $400 million for schools.

An enraged Christie immediately blamed the Obama Administration, saying a bureaucrat in the Department of Education was inflexible and would not accept a "verbal representation from Schundler when they were down there."

The Department of Education, mindful of Christie's blustering past and general ridicule of Democrats, gleefully released a videotape of the incident the next day. In the tape, the soft-spoken bureaucrat in question pointed out the error to Schundler and asked him for the correct information. Schundler's aides at the table, all four of them, looked stunned and started frutilessly rummaging through binders and briefcases.

Now Christie was even MORE furious because his incompetence had not only cost New Jersey $400 million but thanks to the federal Department of Education, everyone now knew about it. He was angrier still because the Obama Administration had shoved it right back into his face and there was nothing he could do about it. Instead of admitting he'd fucked up, Christie trained his guns on Schundler, demanding his
resignation and then claiming Schundler had lied to him about the facts of the meeting.

Now it was Schundler's turn to get pissed, as Christie's efforts to throw him under the bus would affect any future chances he had of employment. Schundler reversed Christie's hold on him and following the principles of judo, used Christie's own considerable weight against him, telling the Associated Press, "In fact, I was very direct with him [Christie] that we didn't get the panel the numbers." Schundler produced a sheaf of e-mails that he said backed him up.

Asked by the Bergen Record if he thought the governor had ignored what he's said about the meeting, Schundler calmly hit Christie with the verbal equivalent of a spiked baseball bat in the guts: "I don't think the governor ignored what I said. I think the governor gets rolling … and a lot of stuff gets said."

Here's where the people of New Jersey are right now:

First, they are $400 million poorer when it comes to education, losing out to Ohio all because of Christie and Schundler's incompetence.

Second, they are faced with the amusing spectacle of two snakes trying to bite each other to death. This does not take much of the sting out of having to pay another $400 million bucks, but it is funny to watch.

Third, this affair gets better and better. For example, Schundler, a big swinging dick of the Far Right, claims he wanted to be fired instead of resign so he could collect unemployment. (This is after speaking out against it for years.) At first, the Christie Adminstration said 'sure, no problem,' now Christie's chief of staff is heatedly denying Schundler's claim that such a thing ever happened.

Fourth, while the state has a Republican governor, it has a democratic legislature and State Senate Majority Leader Barbara Buono has said that the New Jersey Senate Oversight Legislative Committee has now invited Schundler to testify about this controversy.

With thanks to the Bergen Record, NorthJersey.com, NJ.com, the Associate Press and TPM Muckraker.

S. Olson

Episode XXI of 'Whine Some More!"

Now that Justice Elena Kagan has been sworn in and there was nothing the GOP Cocksuckers could do about it, they have to move on to the next thing to helplessly scream about.

Last year they were screaming about Justice Sotomayor and the fact that President Obama puts dijon mustard on his hamburger. (Seriously. They bitched that the President was eating his hamburger WRONG because he liked dijon mustard on it. That had to be my favorite whine because then they act all innocent and injured when they get laughed at.)

So what's the new one? It's gotta be the Teabaggers rally, right? Yep. It is.

88. We're not going to let ANYONE get away with saying there were less than a million here today because we were witnesses!

Most of the time I just encapsulate the whines from the helpless GOP Cocksuckers but this one is different. This ACTUALLY came out of the mouth of GOP Cocksucker #376 (REP. MICHELE BACHMANN) of the Minnesota 6th. Bachman was in a satellite teabagger rally near the one promoted by GOP Cocksucker #450 (GLENN BECK)

The GOP Cocksuckers have been trying to co-opt the Teabaggers for months now, trying to get them to vote Republican. They've had a few successes, most notably when they sent GOP Cocksucker #464 (BOB BENNETT) of Utah, packing. (Bennett was furious and frustrated when he lost the GOP Cocksucker primary.)

Mostly, the Teabaggers have been revealed as an ignorant lot. Activist Janeane Garofalo has said their opposition to health care reform is nothing but "straight-up racism," a remark that infuriated the Teabaggers. When you look at their ranks, it is hard to see it any other way because the movement is predominantly white and elderly. Beck banned them from bringing signs to the rally, partially because he claimed not to want the rally to be political but I have the sneaking suspicion that Beck didn't want the television cameras to focus in on the many misspellings that Teabaggers have become famous for (the most often-cited one is the spelling of 'muslim' as 'muslin' but there are others.)

Stung by them showing there ignorance on TV and then furious because Garofalo pegged them in no time flat as a bunch of racist rednecks, Teabaggers and GOP Cocksuckers have concentrated on the fact of their turnout as proof that they are a powerful political force. They don't like it when that gets challenged.

GOP Cocksucker #450 claimed that there were 300,000 people at the rally and because the media was reporting that number, "there were probably lots more!" Beck finally settled on a figure of about 500,000 or half a million.

Trouble for him, there was another number out there, this one based on a survey of aerial photographs done by the company AirPhotosLive.com, which was specifically commissioned for the event. That number 87,000.

Beck's permit was for 300,000.

With thanks to The Huffington Post, CBSNews.com, the New York Daily News and Headlinewatch.com

S. Olson

The Computer Incompetent - #443

#443 CARLY FIORINA
EX-CEO AND FAILURE AT HEWLETT-PACKARD NOW GOP COCKSUCKER CANDIDATE FOR CALIFORNIA SENATOR.

Fiorina is the kind of incompetent businesswoman the GOP Cocksuckers absolutely love, for basically five reasons:

1. They believe that government should berun like a business, despite the fact that's been proven to be horseshit.
2. They love incompetence because it reminds them of themselves.
3. Fiorina being incompetent as a businesswoman validates their secret belief
that women belong in the home and have no place in the higher echelons of business.
4. They don't think government works anyway, and Fiorina is just the latest chance for them to screw things up; just as she did at Hewlett-Packard.
5. She's not a democrat, a class which the GOP Cocksuckers believe are the source of
all of the evils besetting this country.

Despite her stubborn insistence on buying rival Compaq computer even though a good portion of the HP board did not like the idea, (in fact they disliked it so much that Walter Hewlett, the son of founder William Hewlett, tried to stop her via a failed proxy fight) Fiorina was at first winning over decision-makers at HP. Then
the problems started to intensify; the 'HP Way,' the management system in which anyone with what they thought was a good idea could come into execs offices with proposals, went by the boards. In fact, she started forcing out competent executives who disagreed with her; she began alienating existing customers; she kept making bold promises which she simply couldn't keep and worst of all, the Compaq merger, after a few good quarters, was simply not bringing in the revenue Fiorina claimed it would. Thousands of HP and Compaq employees were losing their jobs.

Fiorina was finally forced out as CEO in 2005 and got a $21 million severance package from the company. After she was thrown out of day-to-day operations, investors were delirious with joy. The stock price of the company soared 50%. Her reliance on being the first woman to break 'the glass ceiling' in business didn't help her at all.

Except in politics. Fiorina is now the GOP Cocksucker nominee to replace incumbent Sen. Barbara Boxer of California. Fiorina has claimed that being a woman in politics means you are subject to all kinds of indignities. The question, however, is when
she runs the country into the ground, just like the last group of GOP Cocksuckers did, who will she get $21 million from?

With thanks to TPM Muckraker, CNN Money, CBS News, CRN, Fortune Magazine and the
Wall Street Journal

S. Olson

Another Hypocrite V.26.0 - #442

#442 KEN MEHLMAN
FORMER CAMPAIGN MANAGER FOR THE DRUNKEN FRAT BOY; GUY WHO SUPPORTED ANTI-HOMOSEXUAL PLANK AS FORMER RNC CHAIRMAN THEN CAME OUT AS GAY WHEN THE DFB LEFT OFFICE

The GOP Cocksuckers just have to face it: they are a bunch of hypocrites. They have oodles and oodles more pedophiles than the democrats do, all the while claiming that they are the party of family values.

Snort. All that 'family values' stuff was just a gimmick to get your vote and no one better illustrates this that Mehlman.

Mehlman claimed to have outed himself in The Atlantic because after 43 years, he was
"just becoming comfortable with that part of my life," which doesn't help all the gay people who WERE comfortable with that part of their life long before Mehlman came out of the closet and wanted to get married.

Melman left the RNC after comedian Bill Maher said that Mehlman was an example of the anti-gay hypocrisy on the part of the GOP. Although the incident was never broadcast, it fed into persistent rumors that Mehlman was gay even though he had
denied it in May 2006.

With thanks to TPM Muckraker, the Baltimore Sun's blog and theAtlantic.com

S. Olson

Lying About His Family - #441

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Deader Than Elvis - #440

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Libertarian: Simply A Republican That Wants to Smoke Dope and Get Laid - #439

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Now Why Do We Say Fox is Not A News Channel?

Yes, TPM Muckraker has put together a slideshow of Fox Not the News fuckups that led to Number One below. You know, it's weird that the GOP Cocksuckers damn the 'lamestream' media for being biased. But what the rest of us want to know is, how come every other news organization is biased EXCEPT YOU?

November 20, 2009 - Embarrassed by so many mistakes and apologies, Fox Not the News fires off an internal memo that snarls they will be going to a zero-tolerance policy with regards to news and "jobs will be on the line here." How'd they get to that?

1. November 19, 2009 The 'Going Rouge' Incident

This is the one that was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. It capped an embarrassing November for Fox. In announcing GOP Cocksucker #420's (GOVERNOR QUITTER) new book, 'Going Rogue: An American Life,' the network fucked up and put up the book jacket of 'Going Rouge' a collection of essays mocking Caribou Barbie. The best part about it? They did it twice. Fox Not the News later apologized.

2. November 18, 2009 - The 'Huge Crowds' That Weren't

Fox Not the News showed video of the 'huge crowds' on hand to receive Caribou Barbie's book. The problem? The crowds were from McCain's 2008 campaign, not people waiting for the book. Fox apologizes again.

3. November 10, 2009 - 'The Daily Show' Busts Some Chops

GOP Cocksucker #467 (SEAN HANNITY) tried to make the size of GOP Cocksucker #376's (REP. MICHELLE BACHMANN) Capitol Tea Party Rally look bigger, so he used footage from GOP Cocksucker #470's (GLEN BECK) earlier rally instead. Busted, he later apologized for the mistake and laughed it off. Jon Stewart, the host of the Daily Show, the fake news program that broke the 'story' in the first place, gleefully got a rare second bite of the apple the next day and made #467 look like more a manipulative horse's ass than usual.

4. October 31, 2009 - When Halloween REALLY Got Scary

Fox was covering the special election in the very-Republican New York 23rd when it erroneously reported that moderate Republican nominee Dede Scozzafava had dropped out of the race and endorsed Doug Hoffman of the Conservative Party. Fox Not the News made the claim over and over and over. Then reality set in: http://tpmtv.talkingpointsmemo.com/?id=3810852

So after the threatening internal memo? How'd they do?

5. March 16, 2010 - The Problems Reading a Calendar

While the Teabaggers snidely tell us to "read a book," what they should be doing is telling their compatriots over at Fox Not The News to "read a calendar." In a report on the Obama adminstration's public utterances about the economy, Martha McCallum on Live Desk ran footage from Vice-president Joe Biden in 2008 criticizing the Drunken Frat Boy's economy and claimed it was from the present day.

6. June 24, 2010 - Mark Sanford

Fox Not the News identified GOP Cocksucker #308 (MARK SANFORD) as a Democrat when he bawled his eyes out on camera. Sanford, a republican, had told the people of South Carolina he hadn't been hiking the Appalachian Trail like he claimed but had actually been down in Buenos Aires fucking his mistress. Trace Gallagher apologized on-air for that one.

With thanks to TPM Muckraker

S. Olson

Episode XX of 'Whine Some More!"

Wow, it's been almost three weeks since my last post of 'Whine Some More!" the hot GOP Cocksucker game show that has been running ever since President Obama's inauguration in 2008.

So far the GOP Cocksuckers, furious that they were voted out of power in 2006, have made up 83 bitches. Let's see what the GOP Cocksuckers.....I mean, The Pussies, have come up with today!

84. That black bastard is a muslim! That's why he won't stop that mosque at Ground Zero!

LOL! Wow, where should we begin?

a) It's a cultural center with a swimming pool and a basketball court in an old Burlington coat factory. It has the muslim equivalent of a chapel in it but if that makes it a mosque then any YMCA qualifies as a cathedral.

b) President Obama is not a muslim, he's a christian.

c) The cultural center is not AT ground zero. It's two blocks away. According to people who know the neighborhood, you can't even see it from ground zero.

85. That mosque will be a haven for terrorists all over the world!

Before they start INSISTING that they NEVER claimed such a thing, as GOP Cocksucker #385 (BILL O'REILLY) does when he gets caught on ANYTHING, here are examples of them doing it:

GOP Cocksucker #577 (DICK 'THE TOESUCKER' MORRIS)
- "train and recruit Sharia law advocates who become terrorists." - Fox and Friends, April 19, 2010

- "command center for terrorism." The O'Reilly Factor, August 18, 2010

GOP Cocksucker #578 (ERIC BOLLING)
- "may be a meeting place for some of the scariest minds -- some of the biggest terrorist minds." Fox and Friends, August 19, 2010

GOP Cocksucker #556 (BRIAN KILMEADE)
- "The next Hamburg cell could be right downtown." Fox and Friends, August 19, 2010

GOP Cocksucker #70 (THE FAT JUNKIE)
- "recruiting tool for domestic extremists." August 3, 2010

GOP Cocksucker #552 (TED NUGENT)
- "The mosque will attract extremists and radicals who will try to harm America." washington Times, August 19, 2010

GOP Cocksucker #486 (CAL THOMAS)
- "Ask yourself: if you wanted to infiltrate a country, wouldn't a grand strategy be to rapidly build mosques from Ground Zero in New York, to Temecula, Calif., and establish beachheads so fanatics could plan and advance their strategies under the cover of religious freedom and that great American virtue known as 'tolerance,' which is being used against us?" August 3, 2010, Washigton Times
- A mosque near Ground Zero is not about tolerance, but triumphalism. It isn't about honoring the dead, but celebrating their deaths. July 21, 2010, Washington Post

The organizer of the cultural center has repeatedly condemned terrorism, "Muslim militants" and suicide bombers.


86. Nobody's making that argument that that mosque shouldn't be built! Just not there!

Oh please. The GOP Cocksuckers argue it all the time.

GOP Cocksucker #70 (THE FAT JUNKIE) argued it.
GOP Cocksucker #420 (GLEN BECK) argued it.
GOP Cocksucker #385 (BILL O'REILLY) argued it.
GOP Cocksucker #412 (SARAH PALIN) argued it.
GOP Cocksucker #580 (RICK SANTORUM) argued it.
GOP Cocksucker #572 (PAMELA GELLER) argues it.
GOP Cocksucker #434 (BRYAN FISCHER) argues it.
GOP Cocksucker #581 (STEVEN HAYES) argues it.
GOP Cocksucker #438 (CARL PALADINO) argues it.
GOP Cocksucker #573 (RICK LAZIO) argues it.
GOP Cocksucker #550 (NEWT GINGRICH) argues it.

Plus, it's getting worse. In Staten Island, N.Y. when the Muslim American Society was defending plans to build a mosque there, representatives in an angry crowd snarled questions such as: ''Wouldn't you agree that every terrorist, past and present, has come out of a mosque?'' and ''I was on the phone this morning with the F.B.I., and all I want to know from you is why MAS is on the terrorist watch list?'' The answer to the first question is 'no' and MAS is not on ANY terrorist watch list.

In Murfreesboro, TN, the fear is that the mosque will be turned into a terrorist training ground. And Islam was described by a 76-year-old man as a political, militaristic group, instead of a religion.

In Temecula, CA opponents of a proposed mosque have deployed dogs to try and intimidate Muslims during prayer services.

87. At first I liked what you were trying to do in building the mosque but now there are legitimate questions about the project!

GOP Cocksucker #567 LAURA INGRAHAM) had no problem with the mosque in NYC back in January but now she says "legitimate questions" have arisen about the project, which is code for 'I smell a political opportunity.'

88. That bastard in charge of the mosque hates America!

'That bastard' would be Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf. Pamela Geller, the right-wing blogger who is trying to stop the mosque from being built, goes so far as to say Rauf calls for the elimination of Israel, which he has never called for and that 911 was an inside job, which he has also never claimed. When she's not doing that, Geller distorts Rauf's lectures like a blacksmith bending iron into a horseshoe. The weird part is that Rauf is a moderate who once was hired by the Drunken Frat Boy adminstration as an envoy to the Middle East.

With thanks to Media Matters

S. Olson

But Some of My Best Friends are Black! Etc. - #438

#438 CARL PALADINO
GOP COCKSUCKER AND TEABAGGER FOR N.Y. GOVERNOR

Carl is just another example of the teabaggers being racists. They HATE the label, but with folks like Carl, GOP Cocksucker #437 (MARK "MONKEY GOD" WILLIAMS) and #434 (BRYAN "SPELLING BEES" FISCHER) running around or a group of teabaggers freaking out and directing their chants at a black guy walking past...well, don't blame me if the shoe pinches.

Carl believes that the proposed Muslim cultural center two blocks from Ground Zero is a ride to victory in the gubernatorial election in New York. However, he has just about as much chance as Blackbeard the Pirate being confimed as the director of the Office of Management and Budget.

Carl likes to portray himself as a victim of 'political correctness' but what he's a 'victim' of is straight-up racism and sexism. Check out the e-mails he was sending back in April 2010 that he claimed were examples of 'humor' to his friends:

- An e-mail of African tribesmen dancing labeled "Obama Inauguration Rehearsal"

- An e-mail of a woman and a man having sex labeled "Miss France 2008 Fucking."

- An e-mail of President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama portrayed as a pimp and a prostitute.

- An e-mail of an airplane landing near black men with the caption "Holy shit! Run, niggers, run!"

Carl bitched and whined that it was "just another liberal democrat blog smear" when it came out on WNYMedia.net.

With thanks to TPM Muckraker and WNYMedia.net

S. Olson

The Latest Racist - #437

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Cryin' About Vacation

GOP Cocksuckers #70 (THE FAT JUNKIE) and #420 (GLEN BECK) have been crying and whining about the prez going on vacation. Well, let's see. A president elected for eight years has 2,920 days on the job. President Obama's been on vacation for 26 of them in his first year.

Now let's see how that stacks up against the other presidents:

Well, the Drunken Frat Boy was gone for 69 days for his first year in office, but all total, he was gone for 977 days. That's more than 2½ years on vacation and he STILL managed to screw everything up. It only goes to show you it is easier to destroy than it is to create.

His dad was gone for 40 days when he took over his first year. Dear Dead Ron was gone for 42. President Carter was gone for 19 and Big Bill was absent for 21 in their first years.

So:

President Obama - 26
Drunken Frat Boy - 69
Big Bill - 21
The Disgrace's Daddy - 40
Dear Dead Ron - 42
Carter - 19

Well, which one would YOU want back from vacation?

S. Olson

GOP Cocksucker #54 Is Proud to Say He Learned Zilch

GOP Cocksucker #54 (TOM DeLAY) said he learned nothing from the federal government's investigation of his dealings with superlobbyist GOP Cocksucker #47 (JACK ABRAMOFF,) the Prince of Darkness himself. The feds decided to drop the investigation the day before yesterday. #54's former chief of staff, GOP Cocksucker #288 (ED BUCKHAM) is in trouble himself with #47 because #288 traded access to #54 in exchange for campaign contributions that ultimately went to #54. (He's in trouble for covering up for the Northern Marianas islands too but that something different.)

DeLay is FURIOUS about the investigation and is using the news that it was dropped to try and influence public opinion in the Texas investigation into money laundering that he has been stalling for five years now.

With thanks to TPM Muckraker.

S. Olson

Governor Quitter Pretends Not To Understand

Lately, I've been loving GOP Cocksucker #412's (SARAH PALIN) 'defense' of Dr. Laura, the radio talk show host who quit after saying 'nigger' repeatedly during an on-air rant with a black caller to her show.

412 pretends not to know the difference between a white person saying it to a black person and a black person saying it, believing it's 'confusing.'

Yeah sure.

The reason black people can say it and white people cannot is fairly simple. It's something like: "I can say whatever bad thing I want about my momma but YOU better not say anything bad about my momma." Governor Quitter could even understand that one.

S. Olson

The Cop That Won't Answer Questions - #436

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I Said NOW, Orly. What Part of 'Now' Don't You Get?

Having been told 'get lost' by the Supreme Court, Orly Gabor is now trying to get it to reconsider its decision not to overturn her $20,000 sanction for filing frivolous lawsuits.

LMAO!

With thanks to TPM Muckraker

S. Olson

GOP Cocksucker #331's Latest

GOP Cocksucker #331's (SEN. DAVID VITTER) reelection campaign workers must not have any dogs because they would have kicked them to death about now.

Re-electing Vitter--a family values hypocrite of the First Order--to his senate seat was hard enough when his name turned up in the little black book of the 'D.C. Madam' a couple of years ago.

It didn't make things easier when it was found that Vitter liked to shit in a diaper and have hookers change it.

Or even when it was discovered that Diaperman's staffer GOP Cocksucker #399 (BRENT FURER) had been kept on Vitter's payroll for two years after threatening his girlfriend with a knife, cocaine posession and a couple of DWI's. When #399 was finally shitcanned, Diaperman laid out the defense that he hadn't known about the DWIs and that #399 had never worked on Women's Issues in his office, he had worked on ABORTION.

(Now maybe Diaperman thought his constituents were dumb enough to buy his 'distinction.' What the hell, this IS The South. But then again, maybe not, because on the last day he was eligble for it, GOP Cocksucker #511 (CHET TRAYLOR) announced for Diaperman's Senate seat.)

Diaperman had a brief frisson of delight when it was discovered that #511 had not only been accused of being a factor in the divorce of a democratic legislator but he was also found to be fucking the ex-wife of his stepson after his wife has died. This turned the race into the Whoremaster vs. the Homewrecker.

But now the alternative newspaper The Advocate, reports that Diaperman paid for #399's trips to his court appearances for DWI; a total of $1,380. Diaperman had claimed his didn't know about the DWI arrests but when he found out, that's when he demanded #399's resignation.

One problem with that: #399 did his community service for one of Diaperman's paid regional directors in Baton Rouge.


With thanks to the Advocate and TPM Muckraker.

S. Olson

Incompetence or Chicanery? - #435

#435 DONALD HUTCHINSON
ORGANIZER OF THE TEA PARTY EXCHANGE

Hutchinson, who operated in Ohio, had this idea for a Tea Party Exchange. Tea party conscious businesses would get a 'TPX-Great American Card' that would be good for discounts at participating businesses. The businesses would use a portion of the profits from the sale to fund tea party rallies.

And all it would cost them was $150 each, payable to Hutchinson.

Hutchinson got about $4500 before the problems started to appear. You'll never guess what the biggest was. Ready?

The local blog, Ideatrash.net, discovered that Hutchinson had outsourced the building of his web site to India. Later, Hutchinson confessed to the Dayton Daily News that's exactly what he did but added he was anxious to work with local programmers.

Then the co-mingling of business with politics had its inevitable effect. A local democratic congressional candidate threatened a boycott of Exchange businesses. Some businesses in the Exchange were startled when people started coming into their establishments and told them they would not do businesses with them as long as they were members of the exchange. The businesses started getting threats and one woman called one of them a "Nazi." Businesses were flabbergasted that they were now pissing off more people than they were getting business from. Even worse, they were being told so in person.

Finally, the exchange wasn't working. Hutchinson cancelled the 5% discount shortly after the program began and Rob Scott, the president of the Dayton Tea Party, received $30 total from the Exchange. Some businesses, convinced that Hutchinson just wanted money for himself, demanded their $150 back from Hutchinson, who said August 18, 2010 that they would get it.

Which just goes to show you either the incompetence or base chicanery at the heart of the tea partier types.

With thanks to IdeaTrash.net, TPM Muckraker and the Dayton Daily News.

S. Olson

GOP Cocksucker #412, The Flat Tire

I'm talking about the endorsement of GOP Cocksucker #412 (SARAH PALIN).

It used to be that Governor Quitter's blessing was gold-plated; just the thing you wanted if you were a candidate running for office. But lately, she's been skunked.

Take a look at what happens whenever the primary ACTUALLY happens:

A. Clint Didier, GOP Cocksucker candidate for U.S. Senate in Washington state: Didier literally begged Caribou Barbie to help him campaign in Washington after he was showed that as a politician, he was a really good tight end. Didier's anti-government rants sounded really phony after it was shown that he thought hundreds of thousands of dollars in farm subsidies were A-OK for him to take. What did Governor Quitter do for Didier? ONE little robo-call at the last minute. The result? Didier got 12% of the vote in the primary and finished in third place; a big ol' "fuck you!" from the REPUBLICANS.

B. Rita Meyer, GOP Cocksucker gubernatorial candidate for the state of Wyoming: Meyer had lots and lots of university degrees: a B.A. in Education and a B.S. in Finance from the University of Wyoming; an MBA in International Business from Regis University; and a Master's in National Resource Strategy from National Defense University in Washington, D.C. NONE of this cut any ice in Palinland, because Governor Quitter secretly thought all this education made her suspiciously elitist. (Caribou Barbie does not like education.) Still, Meyer HAD been a Colonel in the Air National Guard, which was enough for her, so she endorsed her. The result? The second people found out Meyer was being endorsed by the Know-Nothing Palin, people were lining up to vote against her. She didn't lose by a lot; 700 votes. And she was waiting for absentee ballots from foreign servicemen to come in. When they did, they were showing the troops were voting AGAINST her. she conceded.

C. Karen Handel, GOP gubernatorial candidate for the state of Georgia: This one is probably the sweetest one of all. Handel was leading in the GOP primary over her opponent, in fact, she even won the first round of the primary when up popped Caribou Barbie with her endorsement.
Just like in the Meyer race, Republicans showed up in droves to defeat Handel and managed to get together enough votes to beat her by almost 2,500 votes.
But the best part is WHO beat her. GOP Cocksucker #337 (NATHAN DEAL) the former U.S. Congressman who quit in an effort to avoid being censured for using his congressional post for personal gain by establishing a regional monopoly. In 2009, Deal was named by Citizens for Reponsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) as one of the 15 most corrupt members of congress. This means that Palin's endorsement was good enough to get Handel beat by a crook. LOL!

D. Rep. Todd Tiahrt, GOP Senatorial Candidate for the State of Kansas: Tiahrt, otherwise known as GOP Cocksucker #326 fought bitterly against the health care reform plan that became law. He got the politician's greatest fear on Sept. 21, 2009. No, not being beaten, although he was in the primary race for senate by GOP Cocksucker #377 (REP. JERRY MORAN,) being laughed at. Tiarht got laughed off the stage during a town hall meeting when he tried to tell a bunch of seniors that passing health care reform meant that the government would be telling doctors what they could make, which wasn't true but hey, so what if it was? Governor Quitter didn't even APPEAR in Kansas for this one.

E. Ce ce Heil, GOP Cocksucker candidate for the Tennessee 5th: Before Caribou Barbie's endorsement, Heil was an unknown vying for the GOP nod in the house race for the Tennessee Fifth Congressional District. After the endorsement, Heil became the unknown with Palin's endorsement in the Tennessee Fifth congressional District. Seriously, Caribou Barbie constantly mixed her up with C.C. Pendleton, the pop recording artist of a song Palin didn't even LIKE.
Heil came in third in a field of 11 with 23% of the vote.

Wtth thanks to The Hill, seattletimes.com, Wonkette, Washington City Pages and Tennessean.com

Freedom of Speech. Huh? LOL! Oh Bullshit.

The Teabaggers really go nuts when you accuse them of racism. Right now, they are trying to inoculate themselves from any hint of it by bringing up bullshit 'examples' as many times as they can, thus diluting the word down to nothing. Like screaming that as Christians, they are 'victims' of pernicious racism and that we paradoxically try to play the Race Card whenever we can't 'answer' their whines.

Actually, we CAN 'answer' them. They just don't like to be told, "Who are you trying to kid?" Trying to vaccinate themselves from the Race Card is all they can do. The theory is: if they scream racism! enough, then people won't pay attention to it anymore when they actually do it. See, what Teabaggers and GOP Cocksuckers ultimately want is to take us back to a time when they could say "nigger" in public and not suffer any consequences. In fact, that's what 'free speech' MEANS to them.

The best example is the Park 11 building, which they have already christened the 'Ground Zero Mosque.' Never mind the fact that it's not a mosque and it's not at ground zero. Teabaggers and GOP Cocksuckers like #412 (SARAH PALIN,) #467 (SEAN HANNITY,) #550 (NEWT GINGRICH,) #70 (THE FAT JUNKIE,) #450 (GLEN BECK,) and #565 (GOV. TIM PAWLENTY,) have popularized the term, even though the 'mosque' is actually a cultural center that will be built inside the old Burlington Coat Factory. The term was started last December on Fox Not the News by GOP Cocksucker #567 (LAURA INGRAHAM,) proving once again that GOP Cocksuckers are really good at naming things, if not much else, such as running an economy, relief effort or war.

The GOP cocksuckers and their mouthpieces scream that this is not about freedom of religion. Muslims, they say, can build that mosque anywhere they want, just not at Ground Zero. They can't build it in Murfreesboro, Tenn., or some hick town in California, either. "They already have enough mosques in New York City, about 100," says #550, "Why do they need one there?"

412 echoes that sentiment, demanding on Twitter, "Why are the Muslims so insistent on building their mosque within a couple of blocks of Ground Zero?" At the same time, a lot of the right-wing mouthpieces declare this not to be a freedom of religion issue but a free speech issue.

You can understand why they say that because if it becomes a freedom of religion issue, suddenly the GOP cocksuckers look like a bunch of bigots telling people where they can worship. So they think 'freedom of speech' looks really high-minded, which is really weird. That line of Palin's looks kind of familiar: "Why are the Muslims so insistent on building their mosque within a couple of blocks of Ground Zero?"

Maybe they're so insistent because it looks a LOT like an updated version of: "Why are those niggers so insistent on living in my neighborhood?"

I'm not a muslim, but I'll bet money that they take that freedom of religion clause in the constitution seriously. VERY seriously. And they don't like being thought of as the 'New Niggers,' which is just what the GOP Cocksuckers want to turn them into. Plus, why SHOULDN'T they be allowed to build their cultural center a couple of blocks away? None of THEM are al-Qaeda. None of THEM were responsible for knocking down the Twin Towers. All they want to do is build a cultural center inside an old coat factory. What's wrong with that?


S. Olson
S. Olson

Kook Doing Research - #434

#434 BRYAN FISCHER
DIRECTOR OF ISSUES ANALYSIS FOR THE AMERICAN FAMILY ASSOCIATION

If you want a classic example that most of the GOP Cocksuckers are out-and-out racists--especially the Teabaggers--you don't have to look much farther than ol' Fischer.

Fischer's latest is when he wrote on his blog ' Focal Point' that we should not approve any mosques in the United States because "every single mosque is a potential terror training center or recruitment center for jihad." Fisher also claimed that the Governor of New York, David Paterson, supports the imposition of sharia law because he "offered to help the Cordoba House developers get state land for their Muslim community center if they agreed to relocate from the controversial planned site a few blocks from Ground Zero."

The AFA is practically jumping through hoops distancing itself from Fischer, saying he made the remarks on his blog, and they are not AFA policy.

But this is not Fischer's first time at this rodeo. AFA didn't say boo when he bellowed in 2009 in response to army Captain Nidal Malik Hasan's shooting up of Fort Hood that Muslims should be banned from the armed forces and that Muslim immigrants should be repatriated to Muslim countries.

AFA also didn't say anything when Fischer said Hitler used homosexuals to do the dirty work of the Third Reich because homosexuals had no limits as to how nasty they would get. (Which is kinda weird when you point out that homosexuals were in prison camps along with Jews, gypsies and Social Democrats.)

Or when he claimed it was ethnic favoritism that Indians won a lot of spelling bees.

Or that Tikilum, the killer whale that killed a trainer at SeaWorld in Orlando, Fla., wouldn't have done it had we followed Biblical principles and put the animal down.

With thanks to TPM Muckraker

S. Olson

Pay the $20K, Orly. Now.

Birther Queen Orly Gabor got told by a second Supreme Court justice to stop wriggling and pay the $20,000 sanction that was laid on her in October 2009 by a Georgia judge sick of her frivolous filings in his court.

While lawyering for Army Captain Connie Rhodes, who refused to deploy to Iraq on the grounds that President Obama was not an American citizen, Gabor kept making the SAME argument that had previously lost. Pissed off at her misuse of the courts, the judge sanctioned her. A furious Gabor has been fighting the fine for 10 months now.

First she tried to get Justice Clarence Thomas to overturn the sanction, but Thomas refused to even hear it. Then she tried Justice Samuel Alito. Gabor believes she can try each one of the justices before giving up. Two down, seven to go!

With thanks to TPM Muckraker.

S. Olson

Please Quit. Please! - #433

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Sharron Angle Again

Okay, for the last time. Here's what I want for Social Security. It's really simple. I want to take the current socialistic system we have now and I want everyone to be able to invest it in the stock market, just like Chile does. That's not so hard to understand, now, is it?

[The associated press reports Chile is moving more towards a governmental system rather than the private one former Fascist President Augusto Pinochet set up in 1981 because of extreme volatility and because the Pinochet System Angle champions does not cover low-income old people.]

With thanks to the AP

S. Olson

Anderson Cooper Vs. Gomer

After clobbering the 'terror babies' rumor on camera yesterday, Anderson Cooper gets a sweet, sweet bonus that only illustrates the one thing politicians cannot cope with is derisive laughter.

GOP Cocksucker #396 (REP LOUIE GOHMERT) of the Texas 1st and the primary proponent of the Terror Babies claim, came on Cooper's show, screaming with rage that Cooper and Jon Stewart of the Daily Show put his rant on the House floor on camera, thereby introducing millions of us to his craziness.

Gomer was further enraged at Cooper's persistent demands for evidence of the Terror Babies story, on which Gomer admitted to having none. He also said he's promised to keep the FBI agent's identity, who supposedly told him of this plot, a secret. Cooper dryly replied, "Well, that's convenient."

Still screaming with fury, Gomer then tried to get Cooper interested in another subject entirely, namely 'birth tourism.' Gomer tried to get Cooper to come along with him and make the leap that just because one occurs, then the other one must occur also, despite the lack of evidence. In other words, rather than admit he's a fool, Gomer switched to one of the most common tactics of the GOP Cocksuckers, namely, "Do My Work For Me."

With thanks to CNN

S. Olson

The Crazy Old Lady of the Congress - #432

#432 REP. DARRELL ISSA
GOP COCKSUCKER REPRESENTATIVE FOR THE CALIFORNIA 49TH

GOP cocksucker #467 (SEAN HANNITY) called Issa the "sheriff of the congress" for his constant calls for investigations of the Obama administration. It would have been more fitting had #467 called him 'the crazy old lady of the congress who calls the police switchboard every night to bitch about the guy who lives across the street and works the night shift.'

Issa is infamous for demanding investigations into the Obama administration. He calls for them constantly instead of getting things done. Just this year alone, the Crazy Old Lady has called for:

- An investigation into the Coast Guard's handling of BP's efforts to plug its leaking oil well (July 29.)
- An investigation into the Sestak Affair in Pennsylvania (March 24.)
- An investigation into the death threats and violence that resulted after health care legislation was passed (March 26.)
- Anothe call for an investigation into the Sestak Affair (May 19.)
- An investigation into CIA lying to Congress (May 21)

In his first 18 months in office, the Crazy Old Lady screamed for investigations of Toyota, the Enviromental Protection Agency and ACORN. If you type 'Issa's calls for investigations' into Google, you get over 203,000 hits. Should the Republicans ever get control of Congress, Issa has said he would start issuing subpeonas on the Obama adminstration immediately instead of working to fix the mess his party put us in.

The Crazy Old Lady got hit right in the mouth on camera in 2009 by Chris Matthews of Hardball and David Shuster of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Shuster nailed him first, when Issa tried to claim that in the economic stimulus package the Democrats wanted a train from L.A. to Las Vegas. Shuster pointed out that there was no such thing in the bill, which later became law.

Three days later, it was Tweety's turn, when he was confronted by the Crazy Old Lady's penchant for slavishly following GOP Cocksucker #70s (THE FAT JUNKIE) use of 'Democrat' Party, which HE got from GOP Cocksucker #559 (FRANK LUNTZ). 'Democrat Party' is not just ignorance of the difference between a noun and an adjective, it's something of a taunt. (When they get called on it, they start saying 'Democratic' Party immediately.) Check out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JR7MphuhEwc

(By the way, Rep. Barney Frank's chracterization of Republicans as "born-again Deficit Haters" is priceless.)


With thanks to Media Matters and TPM Muckraker

S. Olson

Money Buys Everything?

Money is a formidable weapon in politics but if you're party is tagged as incompetent, well, spend as much as you like. It's not going to help.

Take GOP Cocksucker #560 (MEG WHITMAN) the former CEO and creator of Ebay, Whitman bought the GOP nomination with tens of millions of her own money - $90 million to be exact. Not only did she buy the GOP primary but she led her Democratic opponent, Jerry Brown, by seven percentage points last month.

But then something funny happened. While GOP Cocksuckers may worship money, the average voter doesn't. A month later, Brown now leads Whitman by one point and the gap is growing as the election gets nearer.

S. Olson

Anderson Cooper Kills the Terror Babies Rumor LOL

Anderson Cooper croaked the rumor going around that countries hostile to America are coming here, having kids born on American soil, then whisking them away to madrassas where they learn to hate America in preparation for bringing them back to commit acts of terrorism against this country.

They will supposedly be able to get easily get back in this country because they are American citizens.

GOP Cocksucker #396 (REP. LOUIE GOHMERT) of the Texas 1st, is a big proponent of this notion. He claimed it was true on the floor of the House of Representatives and then when reporters braced him about it, said it was true AGAIN. This time he was joined in his Crazy by State Rep. Debbie Riddle of Texas who said she had former FBI officials contacting her office claiming that the 'Terror Babies' exist,

So Cooper brought on an ACTUAL former FBI official, Thomas Fuentes, a former FBI Assistant Director who had run several FBI offices around the world. Fuentes promptly said he'd never heard of 'terror babies' and thought the entire idea was very suspicious on the 'ridiculous' scale.

With thanks to CNN

S. Olson

Hi! Sharron Angle Here Again. Okay I Didn't MEAN What I Said About Social Security...

Now I want to SAVE it!

This is after she claimed it was broken and wanted to privatize social security so you could invest your retirement in the stock market....like today.

S. Olson

Deadeye Dale #431

#431 DALE PETERSON
FAILED CANDIDATE FOR ALABAMA AGRICULTURE COMMISSIONER

Dale Peterson, Southern cracker or pugnacious lunatic?

That's the question in the Heart of Traitors....I mean, the Heart of Dixie.

Peterson was only getting 5% in the polls for Agricultural Commissioner. Then he made a tough-talking ad that enabled him to finish third in the race, behind Dorman Grace and John McMillan.

Ever since losing by eight percentage points to Grace and 11 points to McMillan, Peterson has not only endorsed McMillan but threatened to shoot anyone who steals McMillan's yard signs. You can see his badass self in the ad, 'Get Away From That!' in which he calls Grace a "dummy." Peterson is reportedly on his second actor who approaches one of McMillan's yard signs as he forgot he was making an ad and shot the first one.

No word from the McMillan camp if they approve of Deadeye Dale's endorsement.

With thanks to TPM Muckraker and NYmag.com

S. Olson

The Dukester Whineth

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Hi, I'm Sharron Angle. If you See A Law You Don't Like, Don't be a Pussy and Sue Congress. Shoot the Cops!

Yes, that's GOP Cocksucker #452's (SHARRON ANGLE) suggested prescription for dealing with laws you don't like. Just declare them unconstitutional and shoot anyone passing or enforcing them. Or course, she didn't say that baldly. She gussied it up with talk of people using their "second Amendment remedies" to mow down legislators.

To a horrified Bill Ames, a lifetime NRA member, Republican and president of the Peace Officers Research Association of Nevada, that sounds like she's endorsing armed rebellion.

Angle is the candidate wingnuts turned to when GOP Cocksucker #381 (SUE LOWDEN) destroyed her political career with the 'chickens-for-checkups' line that she refused to apologize for.

S. Olson

Be Vewy, Vewy Quiet. I'm Taking the Money

Remember when GOP Governors screamed that the congress may pass it, but they weren't going to take any of that evil stimulus money. No sir. Not one red cent.

But looky what happened:

- Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue took the money.
- Tennessee Governor Phil Bredesen took the money.
- South Carolina Governor and GOP Cocksucker #308 (GOV. MARK SANFORD) took the money.

What do these three all have in common? They aren't running for re-election.

When people from states like Georgia or Tennessee or South Carolina whine that we aren't doing anything for them, I wish there was a way we could simply say, "Hey, we tried but your governor refused the money designed to help you. Sorry. Maybe we could get you some kind of deal on food stamps."

S. Olson

The 'Michael Scott' of Politics - #430

#430 CHARLIE BAKER
GOP COCKSUCKER GUBERNATORIAL CANDIDATE FOR MASSACHUSETTS

GOP Cocksuckers have this reputation for being fiscally prudent.

At least they had it before they took on their new mantle; the one of being fiscally INcompetent. I mean, GOP Cocksucker # 412 (GOVERNOR QUITTER) blew $150 grand on clothes when she was the '08 nominee for vice-president under the Old Geezer. Then she spent almost $188 grand of the State of Alaska's money investigating HERSELF in the Troopergate fiasco just to make sure the Old Geezer had no problems with her as the veep candidate.

So it really shouldn't come as a surprise that Baker, whom TPM Muckraker calls the Michael Scott of politics after the hopeless character in the sitcom 'The Office,' is trying to make up for his 10-point lag in the polls by outspending incumbent Massachusetts Governort Deval Patrick by a 2-to-1 margin.

And get a load of what Baker has spent it on so far. Since last August, Baker has wasted:

-$1,000 for a mechanical bull rental
-$4,000 on balloons and confetti
-$1,500 for an American Gladiator-style jousting arena
-$196,000 on catering and room rentals for parties
- Almost $7,000 on lunches
-$6,000 on a holiday party
-$1,500 to have the New Black Eagle Jazz Band play at a fundraiser.

All that was reported between August 2009 and May 2010. Nine months. He's blown over $210k in nine months. And what was the 'defense' one of Baker's aides used? "The mechanical bull was a riot."

I'd expect that from the Drunken Frat Boy.

Well, at least it didn't go toward keeping him out of jail. Not yet, anyway.

With thanks to TPM Muckraker

S. Olson

Tubes *Would* Die And Not Let Us Just Make Fun Of Him For The Rest of His Life

GOP Cocksucker #97 (TED 'TUBES' STEVENS) had his second airplane mishap today. The last one back in 1978 just killed his first wife. This time the plane Tubes was on slammed right into a mountain, doing the job right and killing him dead, dead, dead; thereby finishing the job the voters of Alaska started almost two years ago when they threw his bitter, crooked old ass into the snow.

Tubes got his nickname when he tried to explain how the internet works to computer experts: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cZC67wXUTs&feature=related

In case anyone thinks this is really mean of me, I have three words for you. Ready? Senator...Paul...Wellstone. Remember him? *I* do. Wellstone and his entire family were killed in an airplane crash back in 2002 in northern Minnesota. It affected me personally because I was one of the thousands of people who had MET Wellstone just as he was getting heavy into politics in the early 80s. I still remember him dashing up to the podium at a DFL rally in Willmar, Minn., giving a passionate speech in support of DFL candidate Jim Nichols that had the crowd on their feet wondering 'Wow. Where the hell did THIS guy come from!?' and then leaving.

What was the GOP Cocksucker reaction to Wellstone's death? To claim that the Wellstone funeral was politicized and had been turned into a foot-stomping rally for the Democrats, when it hadn't. Senator Al Franken, who was at the funeral, traced the rumor back to GOP Cocksucker #548 (TUCKER CARLSON) the bow-tie wearing clown that Jon Stewart of the Daily Show humiliated TO CARLSON'S FACE while on the now-defunct 'Crossfire' program. The GOP Cocksuckers tried the tactic again when Sen. Ted Kennedy died. This time it was GOP Cocksucker #467 (SEAN HANNITY) on his radio show, August 26, 2009, who did it. #467 said that the Democrats were using Kennedy's death to pass health care reform. They tried the same tactic AGAIN when Coretta Scott King, the wife of Martin Luther King, Jr., died.

So anyone who says I'm being mean to the memory of Tubes can just bite me. The GOP has a long tradition of politicizing funerals and now it's THEIR turn to be on the receiving end of the whip. Don't expect nobilty from us that you don't possess yourselves. Remember when Dear Dead Ron finally used his last bottle of hair dye? You fucks didn't invite a SINGLE Democrat to his funeral. Not one. Okay, time for you to get what you've been dishing out. Don't like it? Yeah, we didn't care for it much, either, when YOU did it.

Burn in hell, Tubes!

With thanks to Media Matters.

S. Olson