The Rubber Freak - #197

#197 GARY ALDRIDGE
EX-PASTOR IF THE THORINGTON ROAD BAPTIST CHURCH (ALABAMA)

I would call this tragic, which it is, but it's also oddly funny when you realize
that this guy is not just a GOP Cocksucker, he's one of those Sky Pilots like GOP Cocksucker #71, JIM BAKKER; always telling us how we should live our lives morally. Then you get a look at the autopsy report and realize, 'hey, these hypocrites deserve to be fucked, broken and driven across the land.'

Know how GOP Cocksuckers are always bellowing about how we democrats lack morality while they are godforsaken beacons of righteousness? They do it constantly. Well, whenever they get their fake dander up, just keep rednecks like ol' Gary in mind and hit right back.

When the wife and kids went out of town, GOP Cocksucker #197 didn't go to a hooker, like Jimmy Swaggart, (no number yet) or a drug-dealing male hooker, like GOP Cocksucker # 199, (TED HAGGARD) or try and seduce his secretary, like Bakker. No, #197 thought he'd explore the world of autoerotic asphyxiation. He accidentally hung himself.

This is really sad but then it became weird because of the strange reaction of the church. They said nothing about it at Sunday mass or on the church's computerized bulletin board. When it finally got around to HAVING a reaction that its beloved pastor had died, it was: "Guy just died, okay? End of story."

Then the autopsy report came out and the reason for the church being so reticent becomes clear. Not only was Aldredge trying out autoerotic aphyixiation, which is embarrassing enough, but he was a rubber freak, too. Aldridge, said the website republicanoffenders.com, "was wearing *two* complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves, slippers, rubberized underwear, and a head mask. " But that doesn't mean he didn't practice SAFE strangulation. Aldridge had put a condom on the dildo up his ass.

S. Olson