The Cracker - #411

#411 TIM JAMES
2010 FORMER GOP COCKSUCKER CANDIDATE FOR ALABAMA GOVERNOR

To this day I believe one of the biggest tragedies happened after the Civil War in the Reconstruction era, when we actually let Alabama and South Carolina back into the Union. I think we just should have told them, "We've thought about it and we don't want you back. Sorry about all those crackers from your states we shot dead but consider that a bonus. Hell, WE do."

Just think of everything we would have been spared:
1. George Wallace
2. GOP Cocksucker #308 (S.C. GOVERNOR MARK SANFORD)
3. The guy who fucked a horse...twice
4. Terrell Owens.
5. Mass murderer Pee Wee Gaskin
6. GOP Cocksucker #400 (S.C. GUBERNATORIAL CANDIDATE NIKKI HALEY)
7. Susan Smith, the woman who drowned her kids so she could be with her rich lover
8. Jim Crow
9. Larry Langford, the corrupt Birmingham, AL mayor
10. Zelda Fitzgerald
11. GOP Cocksucker #363 (S.C. LT. GOV. ANDRE BAUER)
12. Klansman Bobby Frank Cherry
13. John C. Calhoun
14. Caitlin Upton, the Miss Teen 2007 from S.C. who gave an incoherent 'explanation' of why a fifth of Americans can't find the U.S. on a world map
15. Charles Barkley
16. Bobby Bowden
17. Rep. John Jenrette (google it)
18. "You lie!
19. Talledega

We also would have been without #411. James' fierce ads screaming for drivers' tests
to only be printed in English, went viral on the Internet because it was regarded as one of the most extreme examples of pandering to the electorate out there. Also, it was regarded as racism at it foaming-at-the-mouth best. We STILL would have been able to SEE it, but we could have said, "Aw, those crazy Alabamians," and shaken our heads, chuckling. Now we have to admit that this dude is ACTUALLY running for office in part of OUR country.

James's ad was to no avail as he was knocked out of the three-way race to be the Republican nominee.

With thanks to al.com, FiveThirtyEight and TPM Muckraker.

S. Olson