The Latest on GOP Cocksucker #291

Normally, ex-Rep. John Sweeney would be cataloged as just another of the GOP Cocksucker Drunks, but there is MUCH MUCH MORE to it.

I just have to point out that GOP Cocksuckers LOVE screaming that the Democrats are the Party of Personal Destruction and the Republicans are not to be blamed for anything. Actually, we don't have to be. GOP Cocksuckers are too busy destroying themselves for us to give a helping hand. Sweeney might as well be exhibit A.

I mean, here's how we 'destroyed' Sweeney. Ready? Here's the evil plan:

A. First we FORCED him to get liquored up.
B. Then we MADE him get into a car, go for a drive and nearly sideswipe a police car.
C. But before we did that we FORCED him to put a drunk, naked woman on his lap that wasn't his wife.
D. When the cops caught up with him. We made Sweeney REFUSE to take a Breathalyzer test.

But that was back in 2007. We are really evil. I mean in 2002, we MADE Sweeney get drunk, get behind the wheel of a car and crash into a substation, knocking out power to a ski resort.

Then we MADE his wife divorce his drunken ass after we FORCED him to beat the crap out of her.

Remember, none of it was HIS fault. It was all OURS because we're the Party of Personal Destruction. Our Coat of Arms has a bottle of Demon Rum with two crossed Coke Spoons below it, don'cha know.

What did we do lately? Well, we MADE the judge give Sweeney 30 days in the slammer, a $1,000 fine and 300 hours of community service for driving 59 mph in a 40 mph zone because we're so evil.

Check out this picture of #291 in 2006 trying to appeal to the youth vote: http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2006/05/college_paper_sweeney_was_drun.php

Courtest of TPM Muckraker

S. Olson