Every Once In a While, I Accidentally Enter People Twice - #20

#20 & (#284) ROBERT COUGHLIN, II
DEPUTY CHIEF OF STAFF FOR THE CRIMINAL DIVISION AT THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE


You might be a little confused by the numbers here but on first reference a name is given with the number.

Coughlin was a beaut. You know how people like to say that there is one system of justice for the elite and another system of justice for the rest of us? It's because of guys like Coughlin that that feeling exists.

Coughlin was in charge of the probe into GOP cocksucker #47 (JACK ABRAMOFF). You know why this scandal seems to take forever? Two reasons. One, the damn thing is so huge and second, GOP Cocksucker #20 and #284 did his best to slow everything down, following the time-tested GOP Cocksucker strategy of running out the clock. 'They only want our seats,' the theory goes. 'Once we leave, everything will go away.' The only flaw in that theory is that we don't just want their seats, we want their asses too.

Anyway, turns out that #284 resigned from his job at Justice after it was shown that he was taking goodies from GOP Cocksucker #127 (KEVIN RING). Now #127 was one of #47's henchmen. Here's what he took from #127:
A. 23 meals at #47's restaurant, Signatures
B. 20 tickets to Abramoff's skyboxes on seven occasions.
C. Five tickets to three concerts and one round of golf.

All this stuff was worth between $4,800 to $6,180. In exchange, #284 helped #47 get a $16.8 million grant for the Mississippi band of Choctaw Indians, who were one of #47's clients.

The most interesting part is that after #284 quit, the case of #47, which #284 was in charge of investigating, goes into high gear and hereto unnumbered GOP Cocksuckers start heading for the Tall Grass. Maybe there was no connection between #20 (#284) and the progress of the case but hey, take a peek:

- #284 quits April 6:
- Two days later #47 starts squealing in the hope of getting a lighter sentence in the Sun Cruz crimes (which involve murder, among other things)
- Five days after that, #127 quits his law firm.
- The same day, GOP Cocksucker #299 (REP. JOHN DOOLITTLE)(who used to employ #284 as his chief of staff) and his wife, Judy, get their home searched by the FBI.
- It gets better.
- A week later, Doolittle steps down from seat on Appropriations Committee and starts a defense fund.
- Three days later, GOP Cocksucker #273 (MARK ZACHARES) pleads guilty to one charge of conspiracy to deprive the public of honest services that included #47 giving him cash, $30,000 in sporting tickets and the promise of a high-paying lobbying job.
- The next day, #273's guilty plea is announced and he will cooperate with prosecutors. Who does this scare the shit out of? None other that Rep. Tom Feeney (NO NUMBER YET), a GOP cocksucker of the Florida 24th.
- One day later (April 25). GOP Cocksucker #54 (EX-REP. TOM DELAY) and GOP Cocksucker #288 (ED BUCKHAM), #54's former chief of staff are under investigation by the FBI.
-Two days later the news about #284's resignation breaks.
-Two days after THAT, reporters start connecting the dots from the guilty plea of GOP Cocksucker #273 to GOP Cocksucker #289 (REP. DON YOUNG) of Alaska.
- The next day reporters start connecting MORE dots. This time from the guilty plea of #273 to a report about slavery and other unsavory labor practices in the commonwealth of the Northern Marianas islands.

The penalty for Bob? 10 months in jail.

S. Olson