Losing North Carolina and GOP Cocksucker #7

Nine months ago, it was pretty obvious the President Barack Obama and Vice-president Joe Biden were going to kick the asses of Senator John McCain and then-Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin. The only question was how badly bruised were their bottoms going to be?

The conventional wisdom said it wouldn't happen in the South, which was the last bastion of the GOP. Then a funny thing happened on election night; Barack Obama cracked the Solid South, taking Virginia, Florida and North Carolina. That's right, North Carolina, the home of now-deceased venomous hick, Sen. Jesse Helms. It's too bad Helms didn't live to see it but seismic studies from the University of North Carolina showed he was spinning in his grave at what scientists estimated was a speed of 750 revolutions per minute.

How could this be? Well, it could be that voters were just tired of GOP cocksucker hypocrisy. Hypocrisy like the kind that swirled around:

GOP Cocksucker #7
STATE REP. JOE BOYLAN
STATE LEGISLATOR FOR THE NORTH CAROLINA 52ND

After Joe Boylan beat incumbent Richard Morgan in the primary by portraying him as a RINO (Republican in Name Only) in 2006, He went on to win the election, Boylan's GOP Cocksucker backers sat back with a smug smile. Almost a year later, that smile slipped. Seems Boylan got shitfaced at a Raleigh steakhouse and tried to feel up a female legislator.

Boylan was horrified when he was asked by the Southern Pines Pilot for a comment on the affair. 'Those media bastards are doing a STORY on the thing!' hummed the inside of his brain. 'They're telling everyone what I'm DOING! Better knock this down right now!' So Boylan indignantly denied the rumors, saying, "There's nothing behind it. She has denied that anything happened. She strongly resents being used as a tool in Republican infighting."

By 'republican infighting,' Boylan was referring to the hard feeling that exists between his group and the ones who supported Morgan. They were really pissed that Morgan lost in the primary.

Only one problem with that quote: It was total bullshit. There WAS something behind it and THAT was what the legislator resented. Boylan must have suddenly realized later that telling such a bald-faced lie to a newspaper--which could and WOULD check on it--was pretty stupid, so A DAY LATER, Boylan called the Pilot and eventually made the damning admission, "...She did not make the statements I attributed to her."

In other words, Boylan, the good Christian who owns a 'Great Clips' hair salon franchise in Greenburg, lied through his teeth. Although he wouldn't identify the legislator, it didn't stay secret for long. Rep. Tricia Cotham, a Mecklenburg County Democrat wasn't denying anything, but she wasn't publicizing the incident, either.

Not only did Boylan lie about Cotham's feelings, but he went and lied about Rep.'Skip' Stam's too. when he claimed Stam said that the 'allegation was untrue and that she [Cotham] would not file a formal complaint.' Stam was the North Carolina House Majority Leader at the time. But while he had the managing editor for the Pilot on the horn and was apologizing for making up shit anyway, Boylan apologized for putting words in Stam's mouth too:

"I regret this and have apologized. What he did say was, 'The representative has handled the situation, that she has not and did not intend to file an ethics complaint and that she did not appreciate being used as a foil in Republican factional infighting."

Stay with me because this gets better. Here's where we are at so far:

1. Hairdresser Joe gets drunk and feels up another state representative, namely Trish Cotham.
2. Questioned about it by a newspaper, he lies and says it never happened.
3. Then he lies again and claims Cotham said A.
4. Then he lies a THIRD time and claim the House Majority Leader said B.
5. The next day, Boylan calls the paper back and said well, Cotham never said A. She said C.
6. While he's on the phone, Boylan says the House Majority Leader never said B, either. What he really said was D.

(If you aren't laughing yourself sick by now, just imagine the struggles *I* had trying to keep a straight face while sorting this Ring Around the Rosy out. It was like trying to keep a three-year-old from eating dirt.)

In steps Rep. Debbie Clary, who is now a state senator. While Cotham was not talking, Clary sure was, and was she infuriated by Boylan's drunken behavior. Well, that and the fact Hairdresser Joe tried lying about it to the Pilot and then the hate mail she received from one Edward Kennedy (no relation to the senator from Massachusetts) that accused her of spreading vicious rumors about Boylan just because she was a Morgan backer and he lost in the primary. Clary said the GOP had ordered Boylan to apologize to Cotham.

Now Kennedy comes to this rodeo and says that the evil Democrats had gotten to Cotham, who is a democratic legislator, and had told her not to say anything and to let the Republicans slash each other to ribbons over this issue.

Linda, at the 'Blue NC' blog, has a beautiful post on the entire thing, which can be found here: http://www.bluenc.com/hairdresser-joe:-victim-of-dirty-tricks,-or-lying-liar%3F-you-decide.

But there's more! A little more than a year after this fracas and three months before the presidental elections, Boylan gets plowed AGAIN, runs his pickup off the road and wraps it around a tree. He later confesses publicly to being an alcoholic.

Well, duh.

This wouldn't mean much, except that Hairdresser Joe is on the state Alcoholic Beverage Control Committee

Now it may be just a coincidence but Boylan can't be alone. Is it any wonder President Obama took this state in 2008?

S. Olson