Sunday, August 30, 2009

Here Come Da Drunks v.17.0 - #27

# 27 STATE SEN LANA OLEEN, KS
FORMER GOP COCKSUCKER STATE SENATOR FOR THE KANSAS 22ND; SENATE MAJORITY LEADER

CLASSIFICATION: Type I Drunk (Wrong place. Wrong time.)
OBJECT HIT: Arrested in Time.

Jesus Christ, Kansas is a boring state. I'm sorry if I offend Kansans, but it's true. My father drove me across it when I was 12 forty years ago and I will bet the house it hasn't gotten any better since. A friend of mine had to drive across it three years ago when he had to ferry his family cross-country because his wife was heading to a new job and he used the word 'godforsaken' three times. And this guy had driven across southern Wyoming! I'm originally from North Dakota, so I know boring when I see it. If you're from Kansas and I've offended you, c'mon, get real. How many people do you know who proudly claim they're going to Wichita for a vacation?

It's so boring in Kansas that people have to resort to all kinds of things to keep from committing suicide. Even drunken driving.

Without further ado, I give you Sen. Lana Oleen!

A Shawnee County Deputy Sheriff pulled over Sen. Oleen on the streets of Topeka when she was spotted being unable to keep her Jeep Cherokee in a single lane of traffic. She flunked a Breathalyzer test, but reports do not say how badly. The entire episode cost her about $800 large, plus she had to pay for a $1,000 bond. Two years later, Oleen quit.

Oleen WAS the senate majority leader when all this happened.


S. Olson

No comments:

Post a Comment