And Then The Wheels Came Off - #423

#423 DICK WADHAMS
COLORADO POLITICAL CONSULTANT, GOP STATE PARTY CHAIR AND FORMER POLITICAL WUNDERKIND OF THE GOP

It wasn't too long ago that Wadhams was being regarded as the successor to GOP
Cocksucker #309 (KARL ROVE). This was based on his successful attempt to unseat former Senate majority leader Tom Daschle of South Dakota with GOP Cocksucker #528 (SEN. JOHN THUNE). From there, Wadhams went on to manage the campaigns of #534 (SEN. WAYNE ALLARD), former Colorado governor Bill Owens (no number yet) and #298 (CONRAD BURNS) for his senate bid from Montana.

Then the wheels came off.

Wadhams manged the senate re-election campaign of former Senator George Allen of Virginia, who destroyed his own career with the infamous 'macaca' remark after being comfortably ahead in the polls. Four years later, he managed the gubernatorial bid of ex-Colorado Congressman Bob Schafer (no number yet) whose only jobs were in a property-mamgement company and a cannery. After the tuna-packing landlord got his ass kicked in the primary by Pete Coors (who then got HIS ass kicked by Gov. Bill Ritter,) Wadhams moved on to fuck up other people's political business. This year, all four of the GOP primary headliners made SERIOUS mistakes in the run for the GOP nominations for governor and U.S Senate, which takes place Aug. 10.

To recap:
a. GOP Cocksucker #500 (SCOTT McINNIS) plagarized a Supreme Court Justice for a line
in a report about water issues and then was paid $300,000 for it by a client.

b. GOP Cocksucker #410 (JANE NORTON) asked a question about NASA funding and how it would affect jobs in Colorado, said that NASA shouldn't be trying to make Muslims feel good. (This has nothing to do with budget cuts and refers to a statement by NASA admiistrator Charles Bolden that the agency would be reaching out to Muslims.)

c. Gubernstorial candidate GOP Cocksucker #533 (DAN MAES) is being dogged by reports
of mileage reimbursement submissions totaling near $45K, a fine for campaign finance reporting 'errors' and reports in the Denver Post that he's a crappy businessman.

d. In the most hilarious instance, GOP Cocksucker #535 (KEN BUCK) called the teabaggers 'dumbasses' for asking birther questions while he's on camera. Buck also
said he deserved votes because he didn't wear high heels, like his opponent, GOP
Cocksucker #410.

Not only that but Wadhams' past victories have been tarnished.
1. First, Montana's ex-Senator Conrad Burns was thrown out of office by the voters after Burns criticized the job volunteer Virginia firefighters were doing in his state.

2. Next, Allard retired after an unremarkable career, except when he noted that there was a 'master plan' but SOMEbody, SOMEwhere to destroy the instution of marriage.

3. Then, Thune got tag-teamed by Sens. Al Franken of Minnesota and Sherrod Brown of
Ohio on the Senate floor when he tried to pass off some nonsense on the Health Care Reform bill as fact. Franken appreciated Brown's input but showed he didn't need any help in ripping Thune a new asshole as he accused him of not even reading the bill. You gotta see it: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/12/14/franken-thune-senate-health-care_n_392031.html

Wadhams has a history of being a bullying jerk, one that has not made him too many
friends in the GOP. Call it the Bobby Knight Effect. As long as you're winning, you can be as much of an asshole as you want. But when the wins stop coming and you need them, you look around and suddenly you don't have a lot of friends. GOP Cocksucker #522 (TOM TANCREDO,) the neanderthal ex-congressman just announced he would be running for Colorado governor because #500 and #533 don't have a hope in hell of winning against Democratic opposition, He did this despite Wadhams' instructions. There is also now a website demanding Wadhams' head www.dumpdickwadhams.com and it sure wasn't started by Democrats. They WANT Wadhams around to call the shots.

With thanks to Westword, the Denver Post and TPM Muckraker.

S. Olson