Here Come Da Drunks! v. 25.0 - #76

#76 THOMAS DRUCE,
FORMER STATE REPRESENTATIVE, PENNSYLVANIA

Classification: Type IV Drunk (Killer)
Object Struck: Human being

There is a reason the Breathalyzer, the bane of GOP cocksuckers everywhere, exists. GOP cocksuckers simply have to be examined before they even GET behind the wheel of a car because a lot of the time they are three sheets to the wind. Don't believe me? Why, just on this list alone there has been:

1. Mike Krusee, Texas state representative
2. Randy Scott, South Carolina state representative
3. Rep. Vito Fossella, New York congressman
4. Joe Boylan, North Carolina state representative
5. Wade Stroup, Jr., ex-mayor of Cherryville, NC
6. Craig Westerberg, DA in Durango, CO
7. Ben Harbin, Georgia state representative
8. Chris Healey, Connecticut GOP state chairman
9. Robert Vellanoweth, political appointee by Gov. Arnold Schwarzengger of California
10. Trish Groe, Arizona state representative
11. Scott Baggio, Montana state representative
12. Matt Shaner, republican hopeful for Congress in Pennsylvania
13. Jeffrey Kaelin, Maine state representative
14. David Law, Michigan state representative
15. Rep. Kevin Brady, Texas congressman
16. David Graves, Georgia state representative
17. Livvy Floren, Connecticut, state representative
18. Lee Constantine, Florida state senator
19. Joe Thompson, New Mexico state representative
20. Lana Oleen, Kansas state senate majorty leader
21. Edward Pugh, Kansas state senator
22. Louis Blessing, Ohio state senator
23. Tom Burcham, Missouri state representative
24. Johnny Nugent, Indiana state senator.

Not just a FEW bad apples. 24 bad apples. And they are all across the country from Maine (or Florida) to California. Not a single one of them a Democrat.

If they just did a fender-bender (and some have) it wouldn't be so bad but a lot of these hypocrites (like, oh, GOP Cocksucker #18 (DAVID GRAVES) of Georgia or GOP Cocksucker #25 (BEN HARBIN), same state, come to mind) do even worse things (like GOP Cocksucker #31 (ROBERT VELLANOWETH,) who was so polluted he t-boned another car, killing the driver and one of the passengers on the OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE CAR)

That brings us to Druce. What did he do? Well, Druce admitted--after police had him by the short hairs--to hitting one Kenneth Cains in 2004, a 42-year-old ex-Marine down on his luck and so drunk he stepped in front of Druce's SUV, presumably by accident. There was nothing Druce could do and he struck and killed him.

Then the old adage, 'character is what you do when nobody's watching' came into play. Druce simply kept going and got his SUV repaired before police could inspect it. Then he exhausted every single one of his appeals over a three-year period before he finally went to the slammer, where he was for two years for leaving the scene of a fatal accident, evidence tampering and insurance fraud.

And why didn't Druce just stop? Get this: He said he thought he'd hit a street sign. Yeah. A street sign with arms and legs. In his eyes this was apparently a rational excuse.

S. Olson