Let's Go Out Today With Some Humor - #75

#75 STATE REP. TROY KING
ATTORNEY GENERAL OF ALABAMA

[ UPDATE: Why did John McCain get his brains beat out last year? Because he was trying to unify a party with THESE kind of characters in it.]

More proof of my oft-stated belief that if the GOP cocksuckers are crying about something being a terrible threat to America, odds are that they are the ones doing it.

Troy King was all about outlawing homosexuality and sex toys. He was kinda obsessive about the subject. Here's a sample of a letter he wrote to the Crimson White, the college newspaper at the University of Alabama when he was going to law school there:

"The time has come for the majority to rise from its figurative slumber. The picture on the front page of Monday's issue of The Crimson White looked like the front page of Sodom and Gomorrah News the day before those cities were destroyed. I and a majority of the students were appalled not that these students would pose for this picture, for we have seen that the homosexuals in America will do anything to grab a headline but rather I am furious that this paper would sacrifice its journalistic integrity for a tabloid-esque reporting! It is indeed sad that America has fallen to the point where she will condone any type of deviant, immoral activity in which a group desires to participate. However, perhaps even more compelling evidence of the perversion of America is evidenced not only by the fact that this story was published in the newspaper but rather that it was graphically depicted on the front page."

And that was just on homosexuality. Never mind his opinion on *sex toys.* (King's staff was highly outraged about a cartoon of him in bondage gear wearing a crown and holding an inflatable pig with the return address of Loretta Nall, the libertarian party candidate for Governor on it.)

Then King gets caught in bed with a gay staffer the weekend of July 12-13, 2008. LOL.

Actually the joke was he got caught in bed with a former Homecoming King who graduated from Troy University. (I doubt that it's true but hey, it should be. I just wish to God I had made that joke.)

And who catches him? His wife.

Suddenly, the action comes fast and furious. Much like the sex between King and his Boy Toy. First King calls a press conference that will supposedly deal with the swirling rumors about the 'King of Troy.' [I wish I had made that one too.] But that gets canceled because King says he was afraid other kids at school would call his kids "a name." No shit. He ACTUALLY claimed this. Never mind the fact that school's out for the summer.

Then King's wife throws him out, to which the Alabama electorate says, 'Well, fuck, it's about time,' but we don't really know if that's true or not either. [UPDATE: In retrospect, who cares?]

Then John McCain, of whose crashing and burning presidential campaign King is the Alabama state chair, throws King under the bus. No mention of the Queen King is on McCain's campaign website.

To describe this as delicious is an understatment.

S. Olson